Day 229 Home, Sweet Home

The wild wind roughed through the trees, while I was picking the place for the spring bulbs. The Garden carouselled in cosy light with the blackbirds skipping and marching on the leaves left behind from last autumn. The beauty of being home struck me and made me realised this was the first day of my life what I spent here without being in labour with a university project. I was free.
I found some old seeds I got from Italy on one of my travels, somewhere near Venice. I dig some of the front garden, sown the seeds and planted the bulbs I got from Columbia Road flower market. Last night when I got home in the dark, I could see some daffodils and hyacinths in full flower. My heart leaped. I planted them before I went back to London at the end of last September. I couldn’t fully enjoy gardening then. I had Monsieur Thesis on my back. This time I spent the whole afternoon embracing the garden observing every single seedlings and the giant tulip tree with all its white flowers. I’ve always felt The House with The Garden was a blessing.

Day 226 - 228 A Day of Peace

What a great day! I am starting to fully enjoy the freedom I have since I finished with Monsieur Thesis. I had a proper day off. Having coffee with Mrs Vicar-to-be without rushing. I wondered around shops looking for bargains to take back home as presents and ended up with more spring bulbs. In the evening I watched a DVD: Israel, Who Cares? St Aldates Church conference from Oxford.
I must have written the above after midnight, because I fall asleep and never posted it. The following two days was spent with working, packing and finishing off a jacket for Kerst.
And finally I am home sweet home in The House with The Garden. I am so excited to have a good look on the garden tomorrow and plant the new bulbs. It is so good to be home.

Day 225 From Columbia Road Flower Market to The Midst of Everything

I went to Columbia Road Flower Market today. My first time there was in 2008. I remember taking mum there when she came over with dad for my BA graduation. We were amazed by the young shoots, the beautiful bunches and the East End traders shouting the prices and bunters as letting their richly brewed voices run wild. It was a day full of flowers and coffee at that old deep red corner café shop on the Bethel Green side of Brick Lane.
I got some spring bulbs for mum from George, whose stall was established in 1949, when mum was born. George was very generous with the bulbs and gave them rather by handful than counting them out. I got the better deal. http://columbiaroad.info/flowermarket.html
The South of the river Mission Year flat spontaneously invited me for lunch, which was delicious. We talked about our disappointments over different expectations and level of commitment.
I believe the reason we get on so well in Love Shack because we have no expectations from each other, apart from getting on. I find this more meaningful than anything else. We don’t thrive in serving the community as a community house but have found peace here and this I suppose what we all needed in this season of our lives to fill us. And this I believe is a viable statement in the midst of everything with its all expectations.

Day 223-224 Traffic Jam in the Deep Sea of Rush

I often wonder how many people feel the despair of loneliness in a given moment. How many in the world? How many in London? How many in the borough? How many on the street? How many in the church? And how many of my friends? Loneliness creeps in our daily routine and takes over parts of our life. It makes us seek console in our friends and highers our expectation of their a(vaila)bility. Spending so many years with working and studying the isolation has grown into strength and it cheers precious moments on my own. The idea of community living can still carry isolation and people around us can feel lonely. And we walk pass them as we rush after the necessity tasks for survival. We do stop by when there is a cry for help if it is loud enough, otherwise our motions washes the sound away as part of that well-known traffic jam we seem to be stuck in on a daily basis. London is notorious for being a place of business to survive. The tranquillity of mews are like precious islands in the deep sea of rush. And there are so many in the water without a life vest getting tired of constantly being washed away by the waves.

Day 222 And Finally it is Sinking in…

Well, 222 days after the first post I have registered for the graduation ceremony and hired the gown. My certificate was delivered yesterday by a cheerful postman. He said he always wondered why it needed to be signed. I told him to lose it, would mean to pay £50 for the replacement. He seemed very happy with the answer.
I am pretty impressed with my diploma. We became good friends. I pick it up from time to time, play with the hologram on the bottom and feel the raised stamp ‘University of The Arts London’ with my fingers. Today I even showed it to Diana and Jonathan. We had a little cheering time in the kitchen over a cup of tea. I feel so happy I could hug the whole world to share my joy. It has finally sunk in! More than a month after the publication of the results it is becoming real and the same time it is turning into history. The sleepless nights, the stress, the struggles, the excitement, the melt-downs, the friendships and the end result are all part of this epic journey. I love my Fashion and The Environment Master of Arts certificate :-) YAY!!!

Day 221 Sacher the Cake of Cakes

We celebrated Izzy’s birthday this evening. I made a Sacher cake for her. O, Yammmy! Last summer I spent a couple of days in Vienna and visited the Sacher Cafe to try the original cake http://www.sacher.com/en-original-sacher-tart.htm It was an experience. The original Sacher is the perfect cake. Of course the one I made wasn’t original, but I put lots of love and care in the mix.

Day 219-220 Love Shack is Under Invasion

I visited Liz and Peter from Innerchange yesterday. They moved into a lovely flat in the block where they have been doing incarnational ministry for 9 months. It was great to see the boxes of books they had in storage for one and a half year unpacked and the remaining bits and pieces from a recent trip to IKEA. I am always amazed whilst in England people shopping for the house on a budget goes straight to IKEA, in Hungary it is so expensive only the well-off can really afford it.
Love Shack is officially invaded by mice. They are coming from everywhere. Some of us scream on top of the dining table and beds when the little scared creatures try to run away as quickly as they can, whilst others like our very own DIY Queen Diana the Amazing looks for solutions and plugs up holes. I am in between the two: been screaming my head off on the top of the dining table a couple of times this week and acted as Diana’s little helper this evening whilst she did a grand job of plugging. Apparently this is the season in London for The Big Spring Mice-Takeover.

Day 217-218 Church Crawl

I had a really good day today, one of those days you never want to end. I speeded on spiritual high from 5 different church services and listened to theological debates in transition. At some point at the Brompton Oratory I just thought I wanted to stay there forever listening to the choir and the organ whilst breathing in the smell of incense. I remembered my friend Kata I met on a coach 12 years ago coming to England. She has become a nun since then and I often wonder how she does in serving the poor.
Christ Church Kensington (Anglican) Prayer Book Communion 8am
http://www.christchurchkensington.com/
Kensington Temple (Elim Pentecostal) 9am
http://www.kt.org/
St Charles Borromeo (RC but apparently charismatic as well) 11am
http://www.oglestreet.org/
Leisurely lunch
Sung Vespers & Benediction at Brompton Oratory (RC) 3:30pm
http://www.bromptonoratory.com/Oratory_Home.html
Early dinner
6:30pm St Simon Zelotes (Chelsea - evangelical Anglican)
http://www.stsimonzelotes.com/

I am really looking forward to the next one, already!

Day 216 From The Sherborne Girls to The English Patient

After an exceptionally challenging day, I found myself at a beautiful concert at St Gabriel’s Church, Pimlico. The Sherborne Girls Madrigal Society gave an amazing concert conducted by John Jenkins. I got invited by Helen who I knew was musical and has a beautiful voice and plays on the flute, but I had no idea, that she used to be a member of the Madrigal Society. In fact I didn’t even know she went to Sherborne and what Serborne was about (http://www.sherborne.com/content.asp). That was before the internet age and not long after the madrigal Society was founded. But I remember she went to a Hymn singing challenge a few weeks ago in Dorset and I quite liked the sound of her old school.
The programme included John Taverner’s The Lord’s Player, Alberto Ginastera’s Three Folk Dances played on the piano by the exceptionally talented Yume Fujita and many other brilliant songs by Purcell, Beethoven and Schutz.
And it just casually turned out after the concert that Helen’s good friend a lovely old lady called Elizabeth was taught by Vaughan William’s brother in her old school up north. Well, I was thought music by Marta Sebestyen’s mum back in Hungary. Marta sang in the movie The English Patient the beautiful song: Szerelem, Szerelem (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5FvpgiRqB0&feature=related). What a small world!

Day 215 Fighting for Freedom 15th March 1848

I’ve been proudly wearing my little “kokarda” (http://kokarda.infobomba.hu/) all day today. I had it on my coat and when I took it off my coat I pinned it on my cardigan and when the cardigan came off during this unusually sunny day in London my “kokarda” was transferred on to my top. I was so happy when I found it this morning in the jewellery box. I texted Vera to tell her that I was wearing it and she said she was going to tell her mum. Her mum gave us all in the flat, lovely little presents including “kokarda”-s when she visited. That was at the previous place. Today Hungarians all around the world remember 15th March 1848. And why? http://hu.wikipedia.org/wiki/1848%E2%80%9349-es_forradalom_%C3%A9s_szabads%C3%A1gharc

Day 214 Preparing for Transition

I am already preparing to spend some time in The House with The Garden not only over Easter, but longer term. It is a long process with lots of details, packing in suitcases and boxes, spiritually filling up, finding time to prepare to say goodbye. It is other 4 months, but it will come so quickly and I don’t want to find myself doing everything in last minute. In the slow progress the transition takes deep roots and the emotions stand firm when it comes to say farewell. I hope at least. As I was walking home from the Emmanuel Centre on Saturday I looked at London as a tourist. I gave myself time to look at the buildings and the bridges, instead of rushing to my next destination fighting against the speeding minutes on my watch. I remembered the route I was taking when I ran and walked exactly on those lanes. But this time I stopped under the bridge where they sell books. I read some of the titles, looked at the hiding price tags in the inside cover and put them back. I didn’t buy, not adding a single one to my book collection back home. I felt at peace.

Day 213 Lent and The Joy of Peace

It is time to write about my quest to find Jesus again over Lent. I took time out from church volunteering to try to put my relationship with God on the first place and be filled instead of pleasing people and in the process get isolated. This is something that very easily happens to people who find it difficult to say no when asked to volunteer. Well, I’ve been learning to say no, and it doesn’t seem as difficult as I always thought it might be. I also became open about how I felt to friends and the leadership in the church, who were straight away there to support me. They know exactly the dangers of burnout and the spiritual isolation one feels when everything else comes first than one’s personal relationship with God. I got my Study Bible off the shelf and started to read Deuteronomy. Fuzz suggested I should start with that and Flo encouraged me to read the Bible itself as a story. And I am more than happy to announce: I am doing it. I love reading forewords and after words in books and interesting facts about the author’s life and the Study Bible is full of that. I am slowly getting myself through chapter one with all of its interesting facts about covenant texts. We all go through spiritually dry seasons. Mine started last summer and it got to a point when I was really concerned about my faith. Lots of things have happened that made me questioned it because of people, their behaviour and my own behaviour in certain situations. Finally a few weeks ago I felt it was enough of the draught, and the rain had to come. It came in the sweetest form at New Vine on Saturday and showered me with grace during prayer. As I was lying on the floor crying from joy and peace I thought if this is just a small percentage is what heaven is like I want to be there when it comes to the end of my life here in the earth. The theme of the women’s conference was confession and forgiveness. I forgave to Mission Year and confessed of being angry with God because of them and because of other things. The power of confession and forgiveness is like a miracle, as soon as you do it, you break the grip of isolated anger and destruction and you are free.

Day 211-212 Prayer of St Francis

Day 211-212 Prayer of St Francis
Lord, make me an instrument of
Thy peace, where there is hatred,
let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may
not so much seek, to be consoled as
to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are
pardoned, and it is in dying
thatwe are born to eternal life.

Day 210 The Play Button is Turning Back on

Amazing things have been happening today!!! Can’t wait to write about them tomorrow! Until than Night Night!

Day 208-209 Sugar Coated Silence

Ok, I know, this is going to sound like a cheap excuse, but I am just about to reveal the hidden glamour of a sweet dinner: French Toasty, Fried Banana and Chocolate Caramel Eggs.

Day 206-207 From Alaska to Sierra Leone, in Praise of Faraway Friends

Missed two days blogging for not very exciting reasons, I had a toothache on Monday night and the symptoms of a cold yesterday. I feel better this evening thank God and the Paracetamol I’ve been taking. East London had been showered with rain several times today, but I fought back with some hot chocolate so all was well.
Life is busy, people around me are planning: Izzy the wedding, London the Olympics, friends are excited about their tickets and I got invited for dinner on Saturday, which is really precious to me. I always feel special when I get invited to a home and get cooked for. I’ve been thinking about The House with The Garden today, I wonder if any of the bulbs are out yet, but probably not as it was -8C yesterday and possible -10C today. The parks around here are all dressed in yellow and purple. The daffodils and crocuses are taking over the winter land and I love it.
It is 21.12pm and I would like to write to friends I haven’t heard from for a long time, those who I worked or studied with and those whom I met on special occasions. I would like to write to friends, who live in Alaska, America and Sierra Leon, but my eyes are heavy from the daily routine. Is this how we lose people? We are heavy from the daily routine or just simply busy. We need time for ourselves and our family first and everything else comes after that. But the precious memories of the past and the thought that they are out there won’t let me forget about them until I write. And this is a blessing.

Day 205 The Wisdom of a Good Pupil

Say sorry when people expect you to do so, no matter what and you will always be in the teachers’ good books.

Day 204 The Wisdom of a Good Teacher

There was a little girl sitting in a dotted little dress on a little stone bench next to a little house. And she cried. There came a little old lady in a little brown dress with a little brown hat and a little brown bag and from her little brown bag pulled out a little pair of glasses and a little white handkerchief. And she dried up the little girl’s tears. The little old lady in the little brown dress with a little brown hat and a little brown bag set next to the little girl in a dotted dress. And the little girl’s heart smiled. The little old lady in the little brown dress with the little brown hat and little brown bag saw through her little pair of glasses that little smile in the heart of the little girl with the little dotted dress. And she waited while that little seed of smile in the little girl’s heart grew strong enough to embrace her little cheeks and lips. Then the little old lady in a little brown dress with a little brown hat and a little brown bag put her glasses away and said farewell. And the little girl skipped back to the classroom with a big smile, because it wasn’t matter anymore that everybody else was wearing a stripy dress, including The Miss.

Day 203 Grotesque Mushrooms & Community Pancakes

Just after midnight. Everybody went home and almost all of us in our beds. My thoughts are heavy with the last hour of the evening. The laughter around the table, the risotto and the smell of the giant pancakes still lingers in the flat, but in my mind it already feels like a distant memory. I wanted to keep this evening sweet, protecting the essence of sharing meals in community, but part tiredness part concern about the expectations of etiquette kidnaped the last hour. I realised through a conversation, that in a practical sense I could do a lot more to feel energised. Funny enough, that would mean more rest. Also there was a lot of discussion today about what to do next with Mission Year. Some say I should make them aware about my situation, others say not to do things just to please. I would like to grow like mushrooms in the wilderness, but not the ones that look grotesque in a growing box, but those with many flavours by the bluebells under the great trees of the woods.