Day 285 Modern Day Alteration Challenge

Something happened today, that needs to be processed. Otherwise, I have been faced with the great challenge of finding matching zips for the clothes I alter. I have to take a trip to the Indian shop in Brick Lane soon. Otherwise, John Lewis or MacCulloch and Wallis for a much higher price which is going to increase the alteration price. What a way to try to compete with High Street brands, which most likely pays 1/5th of the zip or even less than I do.

Day 284 The Renaissance of Alteration

More and more people ask me about altering their clothes. It is rather exciting to see that even though garments cost less than local labour, more and more customers think about keeping their old items and having them mended. There are about a dozen trousers, skirts and dresses waiting by my sewing machine and more are on the way. Exciting news about Vondores: after a long Sabbatical with Mission Year we have a client, whom I am going to meet on Monday. Until than I need to draw up designs  Glocal Trinnovation is planning its first Make-Do&Mend pilot day at St. Paul’s Shadwell. I should be more advanced with organising that, but for weeks now every weekend I am hoping to put the proposal together and haven’t happened yet. The plan is to advocate mending clothes at home in a fun way, teaching sewing buttons up and making patches. It would be an event for both parents and children, where the kids can dress up iand do all sorts of activities.

Day 282-283 …

I am not suffering from hay fever!

Day 279-281 Open Doors versus Closed Eyes

Thursday morning as I was picking up a pack of bread sticks for the crèche, in the church crypt I met this bubbly American woman called Maria. Within 5 minutes I found myself asking her in a very proper English manner if she had any dinner invitations yet. She said no and I asked her if she wanted to dine with us that evening. Later on I found myself going to St. Paul’s Cathedral with her to the John Wesley Commemoration Service. Little did I know that it was a 4 hour long program with stops at the Museum of London, at Susanna Wesley’s grave and at the Wesley’s Chapel. It was a great evening, dancing and singing around with the SUWMA-UK Ghanaian society. The preachers were in good humour and I almost forgot about the time, when the sun started to go down and it was time to go home and cook. I remember how long it took me to get invited for dinner to an English home when I got here. I think hospitality is not too much an effort to make someone feel at home away from their family. In my opinion, anyway. I had a very long day at work on Friday. By the time I got home I was totally exhausted. But I rested a great deal this afternoon watching the whole first series one of Cranford. I had some doors opened for Glocal Trinnovation and I really don’t know why I cannot make myself to walk through them. It doesn’t make sense that I am not taking action. I am going home soon. I should really embrace every single opportunity.

Day 278 Seabird

I’ve listened to this many times on UCB during the past few months and always brought peace to me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsaMplgr3c4&ob=av2e

Day 277 Two Sides of The Highway

We sat on the balcony this evening, enjoying the warm London air with its entire evening buzz. All we could see was the skyline and the cranes. The frenetic rush of motionless building sites with their concrete crops, growing up to the sky, claiming records of being the tallest and the finest. And we wondered how many children went to bed hungry in our building and the one opposite. Child poverty has its biggest ratio in London where I live. The other side of The Highway is a whole different story. There are the bankers, lawyers and financial analysts whose privileged idea of children’s education is as important as having food on the table for many on this side. I used to think we live the life we can bear otherwise we wouldn’t be able to deal with it. I used to take pride in hardship. I don’t do that anymore. I have faith in being blessed by the present.

Day 276 Glocal Trinnovation - Social Mission

Long day, with lots of head-planning! I kept going around this idea of Glocal Trinnovation – Social Mission. I made a list of objectives and outlined the team I would need to start a study on local sources, materials and skills back home. I straight away had a 5-year plan and so on. And about an hour later, I realised I really need to focus on translating the ‘Perfectly Imperfect World’, before I do anything else. Once I’ve done that and found a literary agent, I could move on social transformation.

Day 274-275 Years of Childhood and The Dower House

11pm Am laying in the servant's quarter of a Dower House (www.thedower.com) in Hertfordshire in one of those deep window seal rooms one can see in period dramas. I set there just after I arrived and thought maybe for such a times of this was I meant to go through the preparation process, 6 years of striving on my own and 6 years of learning to strive in God. I bumped into John Hayes after leaving Master B's birthday party and he asked me how I got on with Mission Year. I pay the fees I said, so they are happy, I carry on doing the things in the church as I did before, but I have no contact with the Mission Year leaders. I talked to our pastoral carer at The Raven in Hexton this afternoon where our group stopped for lunch about how I could have handled the MY leaders with more love. It felt at times that there was a high, thick brick wall between us written money all over it and plastered with my disappointment of low incoming finances and disillusionment of lack of time to volunteer in the church. Despite all of the struggles this year has thought me more about God's faithfulness than any sermon serious in any churches. I've learnt the biggest lesson so far to receive. I read some old books in the Dower library, whilst the others watched football. One was about clans and tartans, some of them about great houses of England, diaries from World War I. and there was a small book that unexpectedly captured my attention: Years of Childhood by Sergey Aksakov. I read a few pages from the first chapter and was amazed by the mother’s care for that small sick child, whom she was advised to leave under the icons and lit candles to die. The mother tirelessly prayed and watched the slow recovery of her son into a friend of Gogol, Turgenev and Tolstoy. My love of reading I had to burry for so long here in England suddenly stirred up memories of a Christmas when I read the whole War and Peace many years ago. I remembered lying in bed and reading for days and days. I’ve never been so happy and satisfied in my life. It just felt so good to do nothing, but to read. I do have a special place in my heart for 19th century Russian literature. 9pm I wrote a few days ago, that I didn’t think I had a calling to church ministry at all. Well, something happened. I was asked if I wanted to be sent as a missionary from my church to my homeland. To be honest I have been thinking about it, but never dared to ask, especially after my ‘disastrous failure’ with Mission Year. Obviously, the church doesn’t think that way, which makes so happy. I am still processing the possibility to become a ‘missionary’, but every time I think about it I have this unbelievably peaceful feeling of electric shock going up and down in me. I think it suggests that I should carry on with the conversation about this possibility.

Day 273 Untitled

The unspeakable: memories buried so deep, one can’t even find them. On the other hand, exciting news about transition, but unspeakable yet.

Day 272 Saying Goodbye to the Missionary Kids

I just had to say goodbye to so many people this week I am a bit overwhelmed by processing it. These amazing personalities come into our life and they have to leave within few weeks and months and we are just left with the question: will we ever see them again? I met the cutest missionary kids ever: Little Miss Chirpy Michaela and Pink Blanket Wrapped Baby Bethany. They lived with their parents and a bunch of YWAM guys in the church crypt for a few weeks. We had some fun together going to play groups and having tea at Love Shack. I wonder if I ever see them again. They are off to the Philippines and after back to Australia and am off to Hungary. Sally their mum said, when you feel God’s calling to do something, you just know He will provide and guide you. I don’t know any more what I am called to do. I come to do Mission Year to find out what my calling was in the church. After all this it looks like I don’t actually have a calling in the church, but I certainly have a calling of some kind, I just have no idea what and where. I certainly feel peace about moving back home, but I suspect what waits me there is very different from what I could imagine, so I don’t even bother imagining it. I just trust in God and go.

Day 271 A Decade of Patience

Great day spent with more and more thinking about the strategy of Vondores and the forthcoming move. Now it is certain I am going to combine my design skills with the writing. It is so exciting. It is quite amazing that I just very recently realised that the two should be mixed. What more it was more likely prepared to be that way! The planning has started. Patience is a lesson I had to learn over the years. Vondores has been on my mind for over a decade. Whilst some built an empire during that time, I’ve been trained to become patient and not look at others’ achievements. And of course it is true the endurance was not without tears and pain. But it has certainly prepared the ground of knowing and embracing the qualities of the self and having a firm understanding of how much to bear.

Day 270 OMG or The Wisdom of a Toddler

A Toddler asked me today why girls don’t have willies, like boys. I told him God gave willies to boys and gentlemen, but not to girls and ladies. ‘Have you got a bum?’ was his next question. ‘Yes, I have.’ I said ‘Have you?’ ‘Me, too.’ He announced in great excitement. I was ever so glad there was no ‘Whys’ in this conversation. I really wouldn’t have known what to say. I am very good at explaining over and over again who, why and how might have broken a road sign, thrown a Coke can on the pavement or why don’t all women have milk in their boobies and why it is not a good idea to have yet another peanut butter bread just before bedtime, but not the technicality behind creation. God knows, what He was thinking. And we are certainly dealing with the consequences. Later on looking at the patches on my jeans as I was sitting on the floor, the Toddler said: ‘You shouldn’t have too many patches on your trousers, because they are going to blow up.` And he suggested I should throw them away and buy new ones. After that he counted the wholes on his T-shirt and on my dress. We both had two each. Not enough evidence to throw them, I suppose. ‘Do you really think I should buy new trousers?’ I asked. And suddenly all my masters education has been questioned by the straight forwardness of a Toddler: ‘Yeah.’ Of course my trousers won’t blow up from another couple of patches, but they don’t look good either. I told him I might buy a cheap one, but suddenly I realised I am not supposed to buy stuff, as I have a lot clothes already and I made this environmental friendly and socially responsible promise not to buy any clothes at all for a long-long time in order to avoid creating waste. ‘I don’t think am gonna buy any, because I have a lot of trousers in Hungary, so these should do until I go home.’ And I thought I should just put one big patch on it instead of all the little ones and I should make sure I don’t have other hole around my knee. And we started to read a book.

Day 268-269 Over 5000 Clicks!!!

Yes, yes, yes less than 250 posts and more than 5000 clicks on the blog! I am sooo happy!!!

Day 267 Great is the Mystery of Faith

And we all know the responsibilities of our jobs, but when something goes wrong it just suddenly rushes through our mind, that accidents can happen in the split of a second and we can’t do anything about them once they are already in the past. I am still shaking from the happenings of the last few hours. Everything seems to be ok now, praise God, but I still remember the feeling of that heavy brick in my stomach I was carrying on the way to work. I kept thinking hope it’s not the kids. And it never occurred to me to cover them and all my loved ones with prayer until their mum told me that this is what she does when she has the same feeling. It makes so much sense, instead of worrying, we can just ask God’s protection. That makes me think if we do have the ability to forefeel certain happenings by the grace of God, we also have the choice to pray into their outcome.

Day 265-266 Flying with Seagulls

I got to type ‘Day 265’ and must have fallen asleep, because I can’t find the post anywhere. I vaguely remember waking up in the middle of the night and talking to Izzy about the pain in my neck and falling fast asleep. I also remember receiving a text message early in the morning about a meeting that had been cancelled. And then I finally managed to catch up with some lost sleep. Over the Bank Holiday weekend I only slept 5 hours each night, which given my medical history is a sort of a disaster. It will take me at least 2-3 weeks to get back to balanced harmony. There is so much to write about, like the Cheese and Crackers Ladies Only this evening, which I haven’t organised since last July, when my blessed ordeal started with Mission Year. The feelings about writing and translating the Perfectly Imperfect World and the joy of designing and the hard work of making make my heart leap. There is so much going on in my mind, about trusting God and not letting ‘coccus-shaped’ thoughts to slip through the net, that every day is an adventure of the mind’s own. I counted the blessings as I walked by the Thames. I stood at one of the small bridges near Canary Warf and watched the seagulls. I flew with them and still flying until my eye-lids are getting heavy again.

Day 263-264 Loners on No Men’s Land

Ok, it’s confession time. I got totally hooked on the Bourne Trilogy. I spent most of Monday on the sofa watching Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy, which was partly set in Budapest in the 1970’s. The Panama Tailor wasn’t in its DVD cover, but I found the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, which is rather forgettable. But after all this, I was overall chuffed to find the Bourne Identity and Bourne Conspiracy on our living room shelves. I loved both of them. And what’s more I borrowed the Bourne Ultimatum from friends and watched it after work just a few hours ago. I do like a bit of a good spy-thriller and the loner’s challenge in it. I went for a walk yesterday evening, founding a little spot in Wapping where I haven’t been before, opposite to that cute thin and tall, but lonely building in the middle of no men’s land by the shore. I remember passing it on a boat in 2000. So this is it. It is coming to an end here, where the story takes a turn… It’s time to go home and become a loner on my own shore.

Day 262 The Love Shack Sofa

Yet, another late night in Love Shack. It is such a blessing to have a living room in a flat share where everybody is so relaxed about having people around. This is the third night in a row when I have last minute visitors. I love the fact that none of my flat mates make a fuss about getting an e-mail, titled: Guest in Living Room. Friendship manifests itself in need and encouragement is the remedy for lost hope.

Day The Foundation of Joy

One of those blessed days that one thinks it can’t even be real. Today, I helped out on a wedding with my best friend. We both collapsed with a cup of tea in our hands as soon as we got home, but the joy of hard work and the appreciation we got made our eyes twinkle whilst we enjoyed our late dinner. I love good team work and relaxed bosses. Buki is my dream team leader: organized, calm, encouraging and very professional with good sense of humour. I warmly recommend Buki’s Kitchen www.bukiskitchen.co.uk for function catering. The food is just amazing!!! Today was hard work, but hard work is really nothing else, but the foundation of joy.

Day 260 The Joy of Encouragement

I am really not doing well with trying to have an early night. But there are situations when the need of friends to be encouraged suddenly hits me like a super strong double shot espresso and I instantly forget about my tiredness. This time at almost 11pm. What a joy is to see smiles covering tears! I had an inspiring conversation with Megan in the afternoon over some crepes that turned into the Hungarian version of Kaiser schmarren. We talked about fashion and my desire to work on Vondores. She is very much an encourager when it comes to using skills and gifting. What a joy!

Day 258-259 John Hayes’s Spiritual Walk in London

We celebrated Jonathan’s birthday yesterday. I’ve been in a mad rush in the past couple of days running from one job to the other and from one meeting to the other. And as usual I fall asleep with the laptop on the bed and woke up with a very sore neck. Tuesday I went to John Hayes’s spiritual walk around Bank. He talked about some of the buildings that played significant part in the slave trade during history and also in the abolishing of the slave trade. We started with the Royal Exchange and finished at John Newton’s church, which will be reopened for the 225th celebration of the abolition movement and our church will held a celebration service (http://www.geagort.com/en/blog/33/). And most likely I won’t be able to go because of work :-( I am fascinated by the vision of the abolitionist, their courage, determination and fellowship. John’s interest in East London’s history moved me back to the history of my village in Hungary. Through his book: Sub-Merge, talks and this walk I gained a deeper understanding about the importance of getting to know the history, culture and tradition of the chosen mission field. Understanding its situation, accepting its challenges and respecting the local values are key.