Day 257 Taboo Smashing Time at Love Shack

Some of us from our Mission Year team agreed today, that community living has taught us to talk about things that are taboo in the English society, for example: money matters.

Day 256 The Importance of not to Moan

It is still raining in London. Cold and wet, but happy for the trees, lawns and plants. There is no hot water or heating. But happy that at least we have a tap. The importance of not to moan: Many people don’t even have a tap of their own.

Day 255 Etta James and The Chess Records

I had such a great, relaxing day! I’ve learnt lots of facts about Hebrew at Jesus and His Jewish word in the morning and had other amazing dinner at Helen and Steve’s sprinkled with lots of blues from Chess Records. We listened to Etta James, B.B. King and many more, super long saxophone solos, never heard versions of the House of The Rising Sun and War. We had celery soup with home-made croutons, Angus rump steak with mushrooms, carrots and potatoes and a delicious chocolate Swiss roll covered with amaretto flavoured cream. Steve told me about Chess Records which was started by Hungarian brothers, who survived the Holocaust and immigrated to America. Their shared journey as outcast together with the hidden talents of blues singers in their neighbourhood and beyond made them significant in the music history. I should go to bed now, I start to feel the symptoms of fatigue due to lack of sleep. Good Night!

Day 254 Psalms 90: 9-10

Thank God it’s Friday! I love the feeling of the- weekend-is-coming. The weekdays are there to experience the hidden joys of work and the weekends to find time for the hidden rest we can have. On Wednesday I went to the Watchmen prayer group and was taken by Psalms 90:9-10, which was slowly read in the old chapel. ‘9All our days pass away under your wrath; we finish our years with a moan. 10 Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures; yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.’ This passage has been on my mind since Wednesday. I keep thinking about the years of moaning, trouble and sorrow and concluding I wish I had known God earlier to find refuge in Him during those years. And I am grateful for Him for every single day of my life now.

Day 253 A Delicious Disaster

Yes, I finally did it. As many of my fellow female domestic goddess friends in the past, present and future, I have been planning a meal for hours just to get out a delicious but rather strange looking dish from the oven. Everything was well planned, the chicken breast from Waitrose I got from Helen and Steve, the carrots, parsnip, onion, garlic and potatoes from back home, fully organic, fried nicely and covered with a delicious white sauce seasoned with a bit of Italian sun-dried tomato and basil spice mix. I only made one mistake. Both the white sauce and the mash potato were a bit runny and the mash sank into the white sauce in the baking tray. As it disappeared in front of my eyes, I thought: I should have just served the mash next to the chicken and would have looked perfect. There was nothing I could do and when Melanie arrived I quickly explained what happened. She obviously liked it because she had seconds. It was maybe the tanginess of the horseradish and mustard I sneaked into the mash that saved the baby food-like texture :-)

Day 251-252 And More Rain

My red wellies are falling apart. This indeed is a bit of disaster during these rainy days.

Day 250 The Victory of Grace

Unbelievable and yet true! 250 days blogging and still going. The good news about the MA is still around me, but I am not able to obtain information about where to pick up the work itself. The official 6 weeks have already passed and after that the university is not liable any more to store it by law. The Registry said I should contact the course leader, but I can’t get hold of her. After all I have a digital copy, so that should do for my own record. It is better not to get worked up about the loss. I met a wonderful person today, whom I haven’t seen since last July. I was honoured and greatly humbled by our coffee together. I have seen the most amazing victory of grace in her eyes whilst she told me how she had to relearn reading and speaking and writing since we last met. I was so wrapped up in my own roller coaster ride with the medication, finances and Mission Year battles that I had no idea that she has been going through all that. I asked about the shining joy in her eyes and she simply said with her re-developing speech even though that happened, she knew God was faithful. She had known Him since she was a little child. ‘Why would He change now? He is faithful and that is all I need to know.’ It humbled me to hear this fundamental truth because I remembered how many times I was angry with God and thought He left me, when things got tough. But slowly just very recently I started to realise that He is faithful and I should always, always be thankful for that. Not only when things are going really well, but when they don’t go at all. No matter how high we fall, he is always there to catch us.

Day 249 London Marathon

We spent 5 hours cheering the runners in front of St. Paul’s Shadwell on the Highway. I am exhausted and a not very happy companion of a sore throat embryo. I remembered the year 2010 when I trained for the Budapest Marathon for almost a year and fall ill just a couple of weeks before the race. I would be more than happy to walk the distance, but I would not be able to face training for it again. I need to overcome the fear of becoming ill again, to be able to take running up again. Maybe if I start very slowly…

Day 248 Car Boot Courage

Of course, I haven’t rested all day. Eventually, around noon I proceeded towards the living room picked up two removal boxes and packed them up. The winter half of my wardrobe has gone with some books, pots and pans. I run out of tape and had to run down to the Indian DIY shop to get some. That was as joyful as a mini break. I would love to fit everything in 6 boxes, but it might be 8. Aniko suggested that we should do a car boot sale. I hesitated. I am real hoarder and find it extremely difficult to get rid of with stuff. We shall see. I am collecting my courage.

Day 247 English Weather

I got soaked 4 times today. I refuse to catch a cold and going to stay in bed all day tomorrow to keep warm.

Day 246 WarHorse

Wow, out of the blue I was invited to see Warhorse this evening at the New London Theatre (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-bni4QqSv4). It is the best theatre performance I have ever seen so far. I was speechless form the first second to the last one. My eyes glued to the stage and I just could not take them off that horse called Joey. The technical effects were amazing. I kept thinking this is what real horses do. This is exactly how they move and behave. I also remembered the two terms I spent at Costume Design at London College of Fashion, before joining Product Design and Development.
Helen gave me a call just before I went to work and I quickly picked the ticket up. I wasn’t sure if I can make it on time, but I literally ran a mile to the station and a bit at the other end. I made it in 28 minutes. We had premium seats and kind neighbours who shared their booklet with us. WarHorse is based on a novel by Michael Morpurgo and adapted by Nick Stafford in association with Handspring Puppet Company: http://warhorseonstage.com/.
Please go and see it! You will love it!

Day 245 Zacharias Trust

I am a massive fan of Dr Ravi Zacharias, always have been since I first heard him talk on the radio. He always has something significant to say. I often listen to his talks. http://www.rzim.org/resources.aspx And to my biggest surprised I have found a team at our church from OCCA http://www.theocca.org/ the Oxford Centre for Christian Apologetics, which was founded by Ravi Zacharias.
I am not a massive fan of cars at all, but I was given a lift in a shiny sport Jaguar this evening. I set at the front seat like a little girl, being very conscious not to touch anything, in case I break it. The most comfortable and the fastest car I’ve ever set in. It was pouring down with rain and I was so grateful for being offered a lift.
If I may say Ravi Zacharias’s apologetics teaching is like a shiny sport Jaguar with all the necessary extras.

Day 244 The Journey

12.30 Szolnok Train Station
So, that it is the last time I wait here on my own. It is cold and smells damp. No cigarette smoke, but the remains of decades full of burnt aroma locked in the walls, the floor, the ceiling and the whole structure of the building finally covered up by the caring semi-briskness of the charitable public ban. I can still smell the millions of cheap chopped tobacco leaves’ die-birth into imprisoned private breath before freed through lips, nostrils or both. Its long-term marriage with the spilled beer, wine, and spirits in the dark hug of sudden freedom for their crippled infants with that heavy aura of poverty and homelessness replacing the sharp smell of industrial bleach… Freedom comes in all sorts of shapes and colours. My generation has been learning this since 1989 and my parents’ and grandparents’ generation since 1949. This station is a reminder of the soc-real Eastern Block architecture: big, rectangular and grey, hopelessly grey. This is the hardest place for me to wait. It feels like sitting in the past, with thousands of ghost and those from my family who was killed and beaten during the communism. That was a different kind of ‘the dark hug of sudden freedom’, but resulted in the same: poverty and homelessness. But this a whole different story to write about.
Next time I will wait here with mum after graduation on the way home to The House with The Garden, and maybe that would be my last flight for this year. And we won’t care about the ghosts, the greyness and the smell, we will be happy to get on the last train of our journey and start our old life anew.
4.50pm Ferenc Liszt International Airport Budapest, well-known name: Ferihegy
I’ve been reading Lori Wick’s Sophie’s Heart on the way. It is about a well-educated Christian woman leaving her native Czechoslovakia in the late 1980’s in the hope of finding a better life in America. It brings back memories of my own quest moving to England in 2000. Both of us as housekeepers and to attend to children. The only difference is that I never intended to stay and deep down I never intended to be swept off my feet, therefore my story concludes for the near future that as Vondores I am hoping to nurture Glocal Trinnovation and live in The House with The Garden happily ever after.
11pm London
I am back in the flat with a nice cup of tea. Quick chat, when I learn this week we (our flat share) represented ourselves in Hungary, Switzerland, France and Leeds. And most importantly no sign of mice in the flat for over 2 weeks. How cool is that!

Day 243 Last Minute Denial

Day 243 Last Minute Denial
Oh, no I haven’t packed yet! Got the train ticket, saw the branch of the birch tree hanging over the neighbour’s house, did some gardening, tidied the house, washed the windows upstairs, shortened mum’s jeans, visited friends, been visited by a friend and talked to neighbours. I am in denial. I am leaving packing to the last minute, tomorrow morning.

Day 242 Friends & Visionaries

Friends are the zest of human relationships. They are soothing, like the cool breeze. Their kindness speaks without words and their understanding never expects anything.
I met Angela today. I’ve known her for almost 20 years. We are friends. This afternoon we talked about Vondores and Glocal Trinnovation again. This was our first visionary discussion. Sooo exciting!
I have to pack tomorrow and get ready for the last term of Mission Year. 12 more weeks and back here in The House with The Garden to have more visionary discussions with Angela. Sooo Excited!

Day 241 Quality of a Good Manager

It’s raining. Only 3 days left from the holiday and it hurts. You know what I mean. I am excited about going back to London and have a great last 3 months, meeting friends I haven’t managed to catch up for a while, but it still hurts to leave. Once I return I have plans for Vondores and Glocal Trinnovation. I just need to live in The House with The Garden and be free of having to earn enough to pay rent and so on.
I visited an old boss of mine yesterday in town. It was really good to see her. I learnt a lot from her. I used to travel with her in Hungary and occasionally in Romania to teach craft. I loved that. She is one of those rare managers who are righteously able to tell you off in one minute and be there to help in the next one if you are in need. That is a definite quality.

Day 240 Helen Mirren and The Door

So much to write about. So many different feelings about Hungary, the transition, the memories the near future. Just one day at a time. I come here to slow down. To breathe in the fresh air heavy with the smell of nature. Flowers in the flowerbeds. To hide under the threes and enjoy the cooling shadows of the early summer.
I watched The Door with an old friend. Helen Mirren gave the best performance I have ever seen. It was refreshing to see a movie without clichés. The relationship between Magda Szabo probably the most famous Hungarian writer of the 20th century and her maid Emerence is a truly capturing movie directed by Istvan Szabo. To me the character of Eemerence is an allegory of Hungary. How many times have we been misunderstood and it still carries on today.

Day 238-239 A Deceiving Timetable or The Power of Small Print

I speeded through the village straight to the train station to find out which is the next train to town with all the buzz of seeing my friend’s daughter I haven’t met for years. I rushed into the waiting room quickly checked the board 14.30. It was 2pm, I jumped on my bike, cycled home got ready and walked back in 15 minutes.
‘A return to town, please.’
‘The next one is at 15.50’ the cashier said.
‘It says on the timetable 14.30’ I argued my case.
‘You’re mistaken’ she said ‘I saw you coming to check it. You didn’t read the small print. That train only goes during the summer holiday. Can you not take the bus?’
I slowly walked home dragging my nose on the pavement. It was a very good exercise I beat my own record of getting ready and walking to the station. But at the same time I was so looking forward to seeing my friend’s daughter and spending time with her before jetting off to the cinema with other friend.
I did for a whole minute blamed the timetable for my mistake and after I made peace with the situation I realised I can’t blame a printed piece of paper for not reading it thoroughly. Far too often we dwell on situations desperately trying to find someone or something to blame for our own mistake. I must confess I even had an imaginary argument with the cashier, accusing her for not being polite enough in telling me that I misread, well didn’t even read the timetable properly. A part of me would have been expected a kind of feeling sorry for the passenger kind of customer service. But realistically in a small station like ours it is quite unusual that someone tries to buy a ticket for a train that won’t arrive for at least other 2 months. There are so few trains to both directions people who live around here on a permanent base know the timetable by heart. Once I got to this point in my train of thoughts I smiled and smiled and smiled and that makes such a big difference when I soon walk back to catch the 15.50 when I ask again for ‘A return to town, please.’

Day 237 Monday is Here! What a Glorious Day!

Today is the day when Jesus ascended into heaven and sits at the right hand side of the Father. What a glorious day! I keep singing Consuming Fire http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCXh70eHSw4 What a great song! This is my kind of worship, singing on the top of my voice and praise God.
I am happy to announce that my left index finger lost all its numbness and feels again. I can bend it as before the sewing machine needle broke in 3 pieces in it and I can use it to type again. Small things can cause great happiness.
Friends and family sprinkled us with perfume at mums. We gave them all of our Easter eggs, ate a lot and finally resting. I love Easter, the Celebration of Hope.

Day 235-236 The Door and the Door of Hope

There is so much to write about, but my hands are heavy and my head is too emotional. I am full of zest for this place. The all afternoon baking yesterday brought back sweet memories of well-preserved family meals. Mum and I cooking for a day or two and all of us sitting around the table eating for hours and after the washing up mum and I and the gentle tiredness of the day. The kids were here today, a charming tale of love and life.
My little German clients were adored in the Vondores dresses at the wedding yesterday.
I just watched Istvan Szabo’s new film trailer, The Door with Helen Mirren. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fU5fgaWhfqQ&feature=related and the documentary how the film was made. I cannot put it into words how much I love and respect my culture and it’s taken me to live in England for 12 years to realise this. To be a Hungarian in such time as this when we are scrutinised once again for who we are and who God made us is a bitter sweet romance of change. I am proud to be a Hungarian and glad that the years when I wasn’t are over. I became strong in believing in my country in the slow motion process of changing my heart about myself and the culture I represent. I pray that I could finish The Lamp Post at some point, the novel I am writing about my family. The sorrow of the women whose weight I carried for so long and the change in me from the girl with no belief in herself to the woman, who conquered her own fears and learnt to strive.

Day 234 Good Friday Sewn into my Fingers

Today I officially joined the millions of women who since the invention of the sewing machine have pierced their fingers through with the needle whilst the sewing machine was still on. It broke in three pieces, one stayed in the machine and two ended up in my left index finger, piercing through my nail. I cannot explain how it happened. I remember someone, maybe Diana asking me about the horror stories of pierced fingers by sewing machine needles and my far too judgmental reaction saying it could be prevented if one is careful enough. Well, I was careful and still ended up with an accident. I quickly took a super strong painkiller, put a couple of plasters on and carried on with the sewing. The medicine slowed me down a lot I just finished the dresses an hour ago. My original target was Friday 4pm and ended up Saturday 11 am. My little German clients just bounced off to a wedding with their Schick Klein. It feels great to have the dresses done, 2 days for 2 flower girl dresses from the pattern construction to the pressing process.
Good Friday always feels to me like a universal birthday of the human race: Jesus died for us on the cross that we may live. I can’t be grateful enough for him to save me. I would have never accomplished most of the things I am most proud of without him. He was there, walking beside me, when I rebelled, when I confessed, when I was ill, when I questioned, when I was angry, when I was disillusioned and when I chose him over my old ways, because his love is unfailing.
Thank you Jesus, for the life I am living. May You help me to become a better daughter to my mother and my father and a source of encouragement for those around me. Amen
And the good news is: MONDAY IS COMING!!!

Day 233 Danke Schön, Sehr Schön

Incredible times! I am working on Vondores. I have two bespoke flower girl dresses to make by Saturday morning. My little clients popped over today for their first fitting and spent most of it running around in the garden. I had to chase them with my tape measure and needles to get the fitting right. I was given 5 measurements each and made up the pattern from scratch. One of the little girls kept saying ‘Sanke schön!’ and took the dress off before I could make any adjustments. Kids are amazing! They make me laugh. I have a couple of crazy days sleeping 5 hours each, but it is good for the business portfolio.
Having The House with The Garden of my own has various responsibilities: I sawed the catkin bushes by the gate, sharpened the spade, fixed the handle, dug the ditch and planted lily of the valley in it. It was 20C, I wore shorts and a T-Shirt and I just had that super long sneeze fit that is an unmistakable forecast of a cold. I should have kept my long trousers and top on. Well, the April sun has fooled me and I was head over heels!

Day 230-232 Holiday on the Land of Hope

Yes, it is called home the land of hope. I sit in The Garden and watch the blooming flowers. The sun gently warms the air and I feel incredible happy. Life is very slow here comparing to London. And in its slowness of course, it is incredibly busy.