There is so much to write about, but my hands are heavy and my head is too emotional. I am full of zest for this place. The all afternoon baking yesterday brought back sweet memories of well-preserved family meals. Mum and I cooking for a day or two and all of us sitting around the table eating for hours and after the washing up mum and I and the gentle tiredness of the day. The kids were here today, a charming tale of love and life.
My little German clients were adored in the Vondores dresses at the wedding yesterday.
I just watched Istvan Szabo’s new film trailer, The Door with Helen Mirren. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fU5fgaWhfqQ&feature=related and the documentary how the film was made. I cannot put it into words how much I love and respect my culture and it’s taken me to live in England for 12 years to realise this. To be a Hungarian in such time as this when we are scrutinised once again for who we are and who God made us is a bitter sweet romance of change. I am proud to be a Hungarian and glad that the years when I wasn’t are over. I became strong in believing in my country in the slow motion process of changing my heart about myself and the culture I represent. I pray that I could finish The Lamp Post at some point, the novel I am writing about my family. The sorrow of the women whose weight I carried for so long and the change in me from the girl with no belief in herself to the woman, who conquered her own fears and learnt to strive.
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