Day 370 Pear Jam with Vanilla Latte and the ‘Lost Praise of Singleness’

I had the most productive day for about two weeks. Yes, it is still extremely hot, but I got tired of being exhausted by the heat. I got up early cleaned and cooked and visited friends. I had a couple of home-made vanilla lattes, made some pear jam from my dear old tree in the back garden. It’s been a really good day. Truth doesn’t come in a first class ‘Multi-Futuristic Capsule’. It sort of sneaks into conversations we have with friends or people we don’t even know. This blog has very little to do with my private life, but this truth, which was delivered over a coffee has to be an exception, simply because it’s been making me laugh since then. Since I was a child, I had an image in my mind of my older self when I was going to be in my late 30’s. And I indeed became that image. Even though I have fought long battles that seemed endless and excruciatingly painful form time to time with a heartless enemy called The Fear of Loneliness. And something very small I can’t even describe happened last Christmas when against all my fears I simply became whole and truly content on my own. We all have different lives which carry different meanings in different times. Mine at this time of my life is living in peace with the very thing I used to think was my biggest enemy: singleness. And now after so long we became good companions. I have never been happier in my life. And the truth is it doesn’t matter how much we know and feel what is good for us, those around, even friends would question it. While I longed for love I was told to be happy with my singleness and now that I am happy with my singleness I am told that I should look for love. Even if we are content with our situation, there are always question marks following us. But another truth is as long as we are able to recognise our own truth as happiness, the questions will never become our enemies.