Day 424-425 Culture Shock

Sitting outside under the warm sun after the cold night of the last. I was happy, thinking we will go to town together and buy a wood burner. Father and daughter time, making up for lost years. Of course, I was careful not to believe it will definitely happen, though. A little while later mum called telling me dad has changed his mind and he’s not coming with me anymore. ‘Oh, so there won’t be a Father and Daughter Adventure today?’ I asked with slight disappointment. ‘No’ she said with the same. I have learnt over the years not to expect anything from dad. That way anything good that happens is a bonus. The fact that he cycled over to mine with 3 shelves to the studio wardrobe was a bonus. He spent his morning at the carpenter’s workshop looking for the old men’s tools, hidden from the thieves. It was almost noon by the time the work was done. Dad was eager to get home and I told him I put the shelves in so he can leave. But when he mentioned about stopping at the pub, I did not hesitate to see him home. I didn’t want to go into the pub, though and set down the stairs by the door and enjoyed the sun shining on me through the grape wine. I was hoping he would only have as he said one beer and would not meet old friends who would invite him for another. I set on the stairs with a glass of flat Coca-Cola, while he had his beer inside talking to someone. Obviously people don’t really have soft drinks there. Hungarian village pubs are mostly visited by men and it is not acceptable for a well-brought up female to sit and have a drink, not even a soft drink. A drunk-ish guy in his twenties I have never seen before came out to see who was having the coke outside. ‘Is that good for you to sit on the stairs?’ ‘Yes’ ‘Are you sure it is good for you to sit on the stairs?’ ‘Yes’ ‘Can I get you a drink?’ ‘No, thank you’ ‘Can I get you a drink?’ I’ve got one, thanks.’ ‘A drink. I buy you a drink.’ ‘Am just waiting for my dad.’ ‘Is that your dad inside?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Hm. Are you sure it is good for you to sit on the stairs?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Well, sit there than until Christmas then.’ Thank fully at this point his mates turned up, who were more than surprised to see a woman they have never seen to sit on their local’s stairs. I could hear them asking each other who I might be. Later, I realised, while it is ok in London to sit down on stairs, in front of window shops and almost anywhere decent and clean in my little village it is unacceptable. And most likely whoever saw me from the street passing by must have thought I was drunk and thrown out from the pub and waiting to sober up to be able to go home. People did ask me when I visited London for Izzy’s wedding, if it was a culture shock to go back to my little village. I said no. But I am starting to rethink that. I have a new client  That is good news  But first I am trying to put the shelves up and thinking of dad if he feels ok or not after this long cycle and the quickly gobbled down beer. He was in bed shivering when I left them. I sometimes wonder how my life would have turned out if I could have expected things from dad. But maybe I still would not be married and childless. As I hear women’s testimonies about violence and misogyny they went through and the ability still to trust in men is alive in them, I might just be made to be single and this is just as well valuable as being married. We all have different path in life. And this is how it should be 