Day 298-300 The Sea of Life

Being sick makes you realize how differently people react to your misery. You comfort with a ‘don’t worry’ the one, who honestly tells you, how match she wants to help, but she is too scared to catch your bug and shoots of to work laving you aching in every cell. The other gets excited to change your hours and wanting it to know you can do it straight away, but you can’t even think about what’s going to happen in three days’ time. All you can concentrate on if you can get to the bathroom on time, without having to clean the carpet afterwards. And there are others on the other end of the phone, who reassure you to let them know if you need anything. And you wish for a cup of tea, but haven’t got the energy to hold a conversation and you say no. And after the ordeal, the lack of sleep echoes the strain of sickness on your body in your head and back and you think it is never going to end. I kept myself awake the whole time, to be in charge for anything wanting to come out and the night couldn’t have been more graphic. I watched many films and documentaries to pass the time and keep my mind off the pain. I had to cancel work and meetings with clients, which is not ideal only 5 weeks before I move. Suddenly everything is getting rather frantic. I need to pack to be able to get a quote from the removal company. I also need to make my mind up what to take home and what not, what to pack already and leave for last minute. Even to the extent of what shoes to wear on graduation, the black Tamaris ankle boots, the red stilettoes or the wide fitted pointy black ones with tiny heels which would be the safest option. Talking about safe options, I wonder how many of us can kid ourselves to prove the benefits of safe options when we get to the stage that nothing else matters, just memories. Creating memories, I find is more underestimated on our lists, than its benefits for our future wellbeing. I myself have been one of the great traitors of memory-creation by constantly being addicted to the things I once thought carried great importance such as the popularity of the family I come from, my education, my job and status in life. And I shamefully have to admit now it took me very long years to start practicing apologetics towards my parents, my school, my village, my country, the English society and even my university. I have robbed myself of many happy moments of memory creation in the process of being dissatisfied by my very own expectation of myself and those around me. God has taught me to look for the value He created in each one of us and never judge. That is why I smile with a tender heart at the one who didn’t want to catch my sickness and the one who wanted to change my hours. They are both amazing people and they all sail with me in our slowly evaporating bubbles in this incredible and enormous sea of life. And YES, it is 300 days of blogging!