Day 55 Think Globally, Act Locally by Combining Tradition with Innovation…

Second day back in London. The worry and stress seams far behind somewhere maybe years away, but in reality it was only yesterday. I got asked about Cheese and Crackers Ladies Only, if I carry on with it and it brought back good memories. I started it in January simply because I had a lot of cheese left over from Christmas and I invited over friends to chat and eat. I remember telling every single one of them, do not bring anything, I have plenty cheese that needs to be eaten up. Of course everybody brought some and I ended up with more than I had. Therefore I had other gathering a month later and it went on like that up until July when I went home to The House with The Garden to write the thesis.

It was good to see the people at church today, load off some of the worries and get clarification about the near future. There is support and kindness which I was doubting based on lack of information and miscommunication. Why the worry for almost 2 months I think now, when it looks like everything is getting sorted. But when we are deeply lost in problems and can`t see the way out as we do when the blinkers finally come off, we far too easily leave ourselves in the tunnel where is no light at all and there we are taken over by fear, anxiety, doubt in our self, doubt in others and doubt in God. But truly God is always the same caring father, but we run and hide from him because we don't want to know him when we feel he left us. How would I feel if my child would run and hide from me because she feels I left her. Would I be devastated? Would I be anxious myself? Would I go and look for her? Of course. Has God come and look for me? Of course he did, but I made myself invisible to him. I wasn't willing to be helped and blessed.

Tomorrow I am meeting the new MA course leader. I am supposed to spend a whole hour with her discussing my thesis. You know the feeling, when you are just not there yet to present much what you`ve done and you kind of feel awkward to waste people`s time.

Gocal Trinnovation

Think globally, act locally by combining tradition with innovation.

I started a Power Point presentation. I managed to insert 2 pictures, the first about making home-made soap, the second wool washing.

I am very tired, living off friend’s generosity, until I can move into the new flat. I cannot concentrate. Downton Abbey is on TV everybody is watching it, I miss The House, the space and the security of feeling `it-is-my-own`. I had the final meeting about the job so money will come in and as it will come in it will go out, without leaving any trace. C`la vie.