I talked to Felicia yesterday on Skype (wonderful invention!) She is in Virginia, America and I am in Bekes County, Hungary. She suggested I should write my thesis on the blog, it might help to be more productive. I am going to have a look if I could do an attachment or something. We started MA together in autumn 2008, both in full-time. Around March – April 2009 while as part of my research I joined the Innovation Management course, a collaboration between Innostart http://www.innostart.hu/ and the Hungarian Association for Innovation http://www.innovacio.hu/en_index.html I started to feel that my drive was slowing down. I thought it was just the usual end of term exhaustion, but it didn’t get better during the Easter holiday. By that time work became as monotonous as it could be in a retail environment and I decided to go part-time on MA. I felt sheer exhaustion. Something wasn’t right with me, but I couldn’t put my finger on what. Still, I was over the moon, when I got the news that I got a place at London Business School`s MA Elective: New Creative Ventures.http://www.london.edu/facultyandresearch/subjectareas/strategyandentrepreneurship/centreforcreativebusiness.html I met some really good people there and enjoyed every minute of trying to Ghalia`s business idea work. She was an amazing driving force of our group and we all loved her to bits. Although I was already a part-time student at LCF, I was late from almost every meeting and I compensated it with biscuits and cakes from M&S. I remembered they launched their Raspberry and White chocolate cupcakes at that time. I remember all of us from the University of Arts were amazed by the quality of food at LBS, the canteen, the study rooms, the facilities and all the fantastic environment the campus created. You have to experience it to fully understand! Our professor was just fantastic and we loved all the case studies. That course made a significant change in my thesis. (I write about it later.) That summer I spent a week in the Folk Art Association of Bekes County`s summer camp, learning traditional Hungarian feltmaking and natural wool dyeing. It was a great week, we made a small felt rug each with traditional Hungarian patterns. I remember during the whole 6 weeks I stayed in Hungary I felt extremely exhausted. I didn’t do much at all, I was just tired. Little did I know that by that time my health slowly but surely started to deteriorate.
Felicia handed in her thesis in December 2009. I remember her relief and the dinner at South Kensington, near Holy Trinity Brompton, where we both went at that time. She had lamb shank and kept saying how wonderful the food tasted. I was so happy for her to finish her MA, but by then I pretty much doubted the positive outcome of mine.
Against all the research I started to feel inadequate for MA, I was tired and I didn’t feel encouraged by the tutorials at all. It felt like my research methodology was a disaster my topic was far too broad and slowly and surely as my health was deteriorating, my interest in MA was slowly but surely fading away. I would so wanted to ask for help, but it was more like being on a conveyor belt at uni than having the opportunity to be just a human, being who struggles. Very much the opposite the way we had to treat our customers at work, every single one of them is an individual and any of them could be a mystery shopper. I wonder if there is any mystery shopping at universities? I remember the last drop in the ocean. I had a tutorial with my mentor at that time. I had to take a whole unpaid day off from uni (I spent most of my holidays on research and project work) . The tutorial was supposed to be 30 min, my tutor was ten minutes late, it took about ten minutes to remind her about my project and then ten minutes before the end of the tutorial she got a phone call and apologised that she had to leave. That was the last drop in the ocean, I needed that 30 minutes!!! I was struggling with my work! I really wasn’t in need of that kind of poor customer service especially I know LCF is a great place to study. I did my BA there in Product Design and Development for Clothing and that was just amazing customer service from day 1. After that tutorial I just automatically said to everybody who asked after my MA, yes it is fine, but I did not do a single hour study, I stopped researching and my attendance took a dramatic downturn.
Something happened though which got me excited. I made a wonderful friend at uni, my university chaplain Joanna Jepson at my first year at LCF. In 2010 She was looking for students to volunteer for Project 188, which lead to The Empty Hanger project in collaboration with Bible Society and LCF. I did volunteer and we had a really good time. http://www.emptyhanger.co.uk/ I am indeed in the trailer on this website.
`The Empty Hanger workshop explores themes of sustainability, identity, ambition, dignity and belonging. Through the making and exhibition of five outfits, students are encouraged to consider the way that design and fashion convey emotional and spiritual significance. The Empty Hanger launched on 21st October 2010 at the CRE exhibition in Telford.` (http://www.emptyhanger.co.uk/)
I overall enjoyed this collaboration and gave me a chance to combine faith with fashion and be creative.
During the meantime between the two projects a lot of things happened:
· Joanna was invited to the Buckingham Palace for the British Clothing Industry reception and she asked me if I would make her dress. Of course I said yes. How cool is that!!! And what is even better she was photographed with the Queen and Zandra Rhodes and the picture became the official press photo in many English papers. http://www.vogue.co.uk/spy/celebrity-photos/2010/03/17/clothing-industry-reception-at-buckingham-palace
· That`s how Vondores was born designing and making made-to-measure bridal and evening wear, stage and Venetian carnival costumes, one-off pieces. Couture embroidery and surface textile design. Multifunctional made-to-measure clothes and clergy dresses. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Vondores/240722909300834
· By that time I even enquired if I could change my thesis for something to do with Vondores, but it was not possible. I also requested a change of mentor, which was successful and my course leader was very helpful and understanding.
· By July 2010 one thought kept going around in my head though: `I am very tired of my life!` I was still working full-time at M&S to be able to pay the bills, working on the clients orders during the night often sleeping only 2 hours, 30 minutes or nothing. I had no time to eat, over trained for the Budapest Marathon (to raise money for the Mozambican youth ministry I support) and lost almost 15kg. I went from a healthy size 12 to an 8. I was also experiencing a spending period, which resulted in lots of curtains, towels and sheets, shoes and clothes. I didn’t know it was part of the symptoms, but I very soon found myself in depths.
· I almost thought it was ironic to explain to people what sustainability was in relation to fashion when they asked how fashion related to the environment when my life was not sustainable at all.
· My wonderful manager at that time Luisa at work has realised something was not right with me and suggested I should go and see my GP and seek counselling. I do owe her for that for life. That was a start of a very long journey which lasted for almost a year and changed my perspective on life and makes me sit here at this very moment and go through all the research materials I collected for MA and explore all the exciting future opportunities this wonderful subject: Glocal Trinnovation has in for us.
By the way I was going to write down that yesterday I started running again (25min) in the morning and the same today. I have muscles aches, but they are the nice kind of muscles aches. And I have washed my hair and had a shower with the home-made soap, I made. (And used the same to wash the wool, it is really a multifunctional miracle from the past.) My hair feels nice and soft and I am indeed very proud to be environmentally friendly and supporting the local economic by using my own homemade soap. (I did do Money Management at St. Paul`s Shadwell because of my depths and since then I am more aware of spending than ever.) Big thumbs up to Jacquie and her team! http://www.stpaulsshadwell.org/Groups/76280/St_Pauls_Shadwell/Local_Community/Money_Management/Money_Management.aspx
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