Something happened that turned my peace upside down and made me question many things about the fine line between being kind and generous and being used. It has been building up for a while, but today it burst out in the form of a 10minutes monologue over the dinner table. It is about the usual im/balance of what is somebody’s gain is somebody else’s loss. I had experienced many of these situations before and believed and still believing as I am in the process of learning and transforming the gained knowledge I am slowly but surely getting to the point, when it won’t happen again. This time it came unexpectedly came from a trusted situation. Words have more power than any weapon. They can destroy relationships in a split of a second and lose trust that been built and nurtured with hard work. I need to process and resolve this by the end of this year.
I went to a Christmas quite evening after I let the steam out and listened to Kerst playing on the piano and Helen singing. It was an island of peace and calm after the lurking stress of the day. It was just amazing to have a cup of tea and small talks with people of gentleness.
I haven’t started to translate the novel today, I’ve been far too consumed by the painful revelation of one small sentence.
Still, life without Monsieur Thesis is just a blessing in the sky. I finally have time to hang out with people and a great heavy chest has been lifted off my shoulders. I am really looking forwards to have my very first Saturday morning without him.
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