2am London Heathrow
I am sitting at Heathrow airport waiting for my flight to go home. This past 10 weeks was a one of a kind adventure. I just had one of the busiest weeks after breaking up with Monsieur Thesis. I remember thinking about all the things I was going to do once I finished with him. In reality, I had so much to catch up with and jobs to do, that it hasn’t even hit me yet, that I handed it in.
Strangely enough, on the way here sitting on the tube I realised how detached I got from advertising. Since I joined Mission Year, I walk wherever I can and only get bombarded with smog, but not as much direct advertisement as on the tube. Whilst walking I can look anywhere, I don’t get fixated on adds, just because of lack of space. So on the way here I had a brief encounter with the `Mysterious` Lady Freedom when I looked at the adverts, I was captured by idea of me being able to read a book if I want to , sit around on park benches and visit lovely old ladies to listen to their capturing oral history. Also I might even be blessed with the man of my life. Shortly after that, I thought about the next term, seeing myself running around well-above the recommended speed limit and end up being very tired and very hungry, because I forget to eat and sleep. This has been the pattern of my life for so long, I do need to find an accountability partner for eating and sleeping. I found myself being caught up by old habits, drinking hot chocolate instead of a meal to save time and eating anything sugary for quick energy release. I had the far too familiar dizziness and constant adrenalin rush due to lack of food. I need to look at my notes from New ID, the knowledge gained fades over time and not accessible either for emotions or reason. I do remember the shock the talk had on me about the brain releasing fat to the body when starving and this process creates that high, which so easily could become addictive. I do remember the shock of realisation what I was doing to my body by being so busy that I kept skipping meals and ended up 48kg one and a half years ago. I just weighed myself and I am a happy 69kg for 170cm height. I gained 30% of my body mass in a year and I remember telling my flat mates once to hold me accountable if they catch me dieting. I think I am going to be well over 70kg by the time I come back from holiday. I normally have 2 breakfasts, 2 lunches and 2 dinners when I am back home and of course sleepless nights. 8pm this evening I am going to have dinner with mum in The House with The Garden: Hungarian potato soup with eggs and steamed fried cabbage with fried duck. I can`t wait! I am so excited. I am also very excited about the time when I will be able to do my first food shopping end of January. It is going to be so great! I can start cooking for people again!
I had such an amazing 10 weeks in learning and trusting God for provision. It is very easy to slip back to old habits, but I really would love to keep in mind what I`ve experienced. It is amazing to experience, that my shopping habits completely changed. I am very considerate what I buy and why.
10.15am Munich International Airport
My connecting flight is 15min delayed. It doesn’t matter there is snow at the airport and the freshness of continental cold fills me with the warmth of familiarity. I love the dryness of this cold. Its sharpness is safe and resembles those rosy cheeked memories of childhood, wrapped up in a thick winter coat, woolly hat, scarf and gloves, when I almost couldn’t move, but I was cared for. Here the many continental faces make it less obvious to be branded ‘Eastern European’ we all simply resemble Europe.
2pm Budapest Franz Liszt International Airport
Drinking the nicest tea ever Tisane Du Berger Damman Freres with honey. I just missed my train and trying to draw some energy from the tea to be able to climb those steps with the suitcases, there are at least a 100 of them if not more. The lifts are broken at the train station. I better hurry up before missing this train as well.
Finally, am going to have time to do all the bits and pieces I’ve been waiting for so long. First of all, I have to make sure I have plenty rest in The House with The Garden. This is my first Christmas there in 6 years, which makes me appreciate it more than anything. This two and a half weeks have to be about learning to rest. I remember the time when I made candles with Katica there and all the baking and cooking with Szilvi. Let this holiday be the gentle reminder of those days in a new
2.24 am
In the The House with The Garden I had the delicious Hungarian potato soup with eggs and steamed fried cabbage with fried duck and a lovely long chat with mum. It is so good to be home JIt is so good to be home J
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