Day 487 The Matters of the Heart or The Truth about ‘Willing-Understanding’

Great news! Miss Violet & Mrs Forget-Me-Not has coasters now. Yesterday was a day less patterned with work but more with care by visiting a friend in rehab. There are many beauties of living in a village, but also some difficult aspects to except, too after living in a big city. Here there are unwritten rules about class and society. Some of us have been challenged before why we care for someone who has alcohol addiction. I believe there is only one way to make an unfortunate life more unfortunate as it is if we cast it out, when it is in the biggest need. A kind word does not cost anything and can be a fountain of hope for a human being. I met some amazingly strong believers here. One of them with whom we made the visit said ‘We are not shop-window Catholics, we practice what we are taught.’ I have prayed for finding a community like this I can be part of before I came here. One of the most important things I’ve learnt during my travels that we cannot condemn people for the actions they take, but we need to have the ability to take full responsibility for our own heart as we step on the path of ‘willing-understanding’. And this ‘willing-understanding’ can give a helping hand in mending brokenness, in standing up from falls, in stripping from anger, in leaving behind unwelcome words and in accepting the ones who others sometimes think are not worthy. We decided to stand by our friend in rehab in this journey she was strong enough to take in whatever we can, prayer, kindness and all sorts. Every person is fearfully and wonderfully made and the least we can do is to hand them the magic buff-clothes of love to get the dust off and help them shine. Let her strengths be a triumph and may God shower her with his unfailing love. Amen.

Day 486 Mrs Forget-Me-Not & Miss Violet

'Kalocsai' Embroidery

As promised Coffee Cosy picture attached. ‘Kalocsai’ hand-embroidery on padded calico with machine embroidery. Just Started to draw up the matching tea pot cosy. Exciting times! I’ve been also experimenting with the word ‘TEA’ for flower themed tea cosies in the afternoon and already prototyped a version for forget-me-not and violets. I can’t wait to do the napkin rings tomorrow. I am so excited. Also had an idea about customised sets as I was having coffee with mum and having a good look on her coffee pots. There is so much to do, but it is a long awaited business.

Ps. I can't rotate the 'TEA' pictures, sorry!

Coffee Cosy

Miss Violets

Mrs Forget-Me-Not 

Day 485 Coffee Cosies Blooming in the Atelier

First day in Vondores Studio, prototyping coffee cosies, designing embroidery patterns, flowers, measuring fabrics, reading up on all sorts of care instructions. I had a really good time, recording how much thread I used and the time all the stitching took. Finally work has started. How wonderful! Picture is coming tomorrow.

Day 484 ‘This Is What You Should Know About Me’

There is nothing better than friends being understanding.  TV broke again but never mind, I can fill out the Inspiration Diary 2013 I got from a friend for Christmas. Under the section: ‘This is what you should know about me’ there are all sorts of questions about my favourite colour, actor, book, movie and all sorts. Before I went to England my favourite colour was green, which very slowly turned into pink, but now when I am back again it is copper. Well, deep down it was always copper, but it is not really a colour one would freely admit. But I suppose those times has gone when the freedom of freely admitting something was silence. I love many films and for many-many years my favourite was Indochine with Catherine Deneuve. And it is still the one. The Big Blue with Jean-Marc Barr also made a huge impression on me as well as Orlando with Tilda Swinton and Braking the Waves with Emily Watson, the master piece directed by Lars von Trier. But as the movie world changes The Bourne Trilogy became somehow an epic illusion after the lost innocence since the BBC production of Pride & Prejudice with Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle. I used to watch many movies before I went to England, but life changed there and there was neither time nor money for cinema. Favourite actor is no doubt Leonardo DiCaprio since Gilbert Grape. Before it was Gregory Peck in Moby Dick. I saw it when I was very little and was mesmerised by Peck’s dark beard and fanatic revenge on the whale. Strangely enough, I don’t like beard and I don’t agree with revenge at all, but children have strange ideas about idolizing fictional characters. I’ve never really been a little girl dreaming of princes and princesses, so that might be the root of it all. As a child I wanted to become a singing ballerina, but I was so distressed when I found out such occupation did not exist, that I decided to become a good which, who jumps in and out between tales and real life. Of course that was not possible either, so I decided to become an alcoholic for mum’s absolute horror and for the question why I just said, because I can lay on the sofa all day then or a mad woman I said thinking that I don’t have to work then. I have no idea where I got that from either. And eventually I became a mixture of something like a fashion designer-writer-private missionary and for many years a workaholic. That is mad enough. And my favourite book after all is the Bible. Before it was Wuthering Heights and Charlotte, which was my first inspiration in creative writing. That opened my eyes to the beauty of artistically combined sentences in the complex w(e)ave of storytelling.

Day 483 Nativity Story from New Zealand J

My favourite Nativity Story from New Zealand. Cute kids in the funniest costumes J

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zduwusyip8M

Day 482 Christmas Eve

Midnight Mass at 8pm in our most beloved and very cold church. The day was spent with family and involved lots of eating. Fish soup, fish schnitzel, beef schnitzel, fried goose, fried turkey and roast potatoes with peach compote. Oh, and not to forget the delicious stuffed cabbages. This is a very special Christmas. We don’t care much about presents, but spend time together in front of the TV, watching David Copperfield and Sissi. This is more important for me, than any present: to be together.

Day 481 No English Name Cakes

2am

I’ve gone totally OTT on Christmas baking: wallnut beigli, poppy seed beigli, cabbage pogacsa, baked cheese cake, cottage cheese bukta and banana bread with icing. It is well over sleepy time now and I can’t even translate them properly, but they are all delicious and especially the beigli is traditional Hungarian Christmas cake. 

Day 480 Christmas, Christmas Here We Come :-)

And than of course, the many ups and the many downs bring something more substantial to life than we expect. The intrusion of unwelcomed feelings and thoughts are there to test us every day.

The cushions are finished and the studio’s been cleaned up. Machines are packed away until January. No more sewing for this year. Just the pure joy of Christmas!

Day 478-479 Wild Boar Stew with Sauerkraut and The Stolen Christmas Preparation

Last Christmas I promised myself to celebrate Advent in a proper way. To set aside time each Sunday to be with God.  It didn’t happen. We often say we can do anything if we want to. Especially this week I just wanted to prepare for Christmas. To be filled up with the joyful waiting to celebrate the birth of the Messiah. And instead I’ve spent all week making 2 London Bus style cushions and they are not ready yet. I can only blame myself for not being able to say no. But sometimes we are unable to say no for all sorts of reasons.

But the day before yesterday we had Wild Boar stew with home-made sauerkraut. Mum is an amazing cook. I can still smell and taste the juicy aroma of the warm spices. Let this be the happy end of today’s story.

Day 476-477 The Battlefield of the Mind

476

Third Sunday of Advent.

477

I could not write anything else yesterday. It was a strange feeling as the worlds wanted to come out and rest on the shining white pavement of the laptop, but my fingers did not open the gate for them and after a long and painful attempt to break the locks and bolts the words decided to withdraw slowly and calmly understanding that yesterday was not their day. They knew there was no need to run, like wounded soldiers from the chasing enemy on the battlefield. No one would come after them, they knew they were going to sleep and they hoped that today was a day where the gates were open even before they came out from their chambers.

There are days when writing flows and I myself am surprised about the treasures of the relationships that words form during the secretive liaisons of the night and their super sensitive vibes that catch fire here and there and their ideal rationals that come and rescues them from the deepest darkest pits and lift them up almost to heavens to be cleansed by the shining light of eternity as if God himself would stroke their heads as little children. And they indeed survive.

At a point, I am always amazed every single day, how wonderful it is to be alive. Of course there is a battle every single day that I am entrusted to win as the captain of the word of legions, where there are loyals and rebels on the battlefield of the mind. And as I lie my head to sleep every single night the heart of the Greatest Captain of all leaps that I indeed survived.

Day 474-475 Little Drops of Happiness

Happiness comes in little drops, when hearing about a friend doing well, finishing a job that was delayed and dreaded for months, having some well-deserved rest and watching TV. I moved about 800 books this afternoon, pulled a massive bookshelf apart, took it upstairs and put it back together. I have been putting this off since August. Now after 6 hours work, I am happy. The guest room is taking shape and the studio/living room is done. Shelves are up, inspirational pictures on the wall and still it is spacious.

Day 472-473 School of Regional Science

Praise God for Cafetiere. Sipping coffee in bed and very slowly typing this post on my laptop. After 2 days of hard core DIY, my right hand is one blob of pain. My fingers are on a roller coaster ride of a mix of numbness, and pain culminating in my palm. My left hand is warm and the right one if freezing cold from inside. It gets worse by every single typing of a letter.

I am watching the news on Hungarian TV about the student’s strike against reforming further education. It is always difficult to change and the beauty of democracy is to be able to give voice to ones agreement or disagreement. All I know is that at the University of Arts London, where I gained my BA and MA you have to finish your BA in 4 years and your MA in 3 and you pay for it, there is no pardon, whilst in Hungary you can stretch a BA up to 10 years on taxpayers money and not even finish it. There are always casualties in both cases. I saw people not being able to finish their degrees in 4 years due to illness and personal problems in London.

I’ve been looking for a PHD program in Hungary to further Glocal Trinnovation research. And found something very interesting at Szent Istvan University’s School of Regional Sciences. I need to find out more about this.

But for now my hand need some rest.

Day 471 What a Wonderful Day! To Hannah & Stephen

Congratulations to Hannah and Stephen on their engagement! The amazing news made my day, week, no, my months! I am so happy for them. Such lovely people! A match made in Heaven! J

Day 470 The Evaluating Definition of the Ultimate Truth of Today

O Dear, it is freezing. Nothing I touched today turned into gold, but ashes. A failed attempt to reorganise the kitchen, a walk to my favourite local shop with one less cardigan I should have had and making a pot of soup that got only half done. Still ok though.

Day 469 The Beauty of Snow on a Crises Day

After my return from the UK I was really looking forward to start prototyping the aprons and kitchen textile accessories. I was full of ideas and a cold, but could not wait to wake up on Thursday and dive into work. Wednesday evening after landing at Budapest Airport I got a call from a friend who desperately needed my help with her children. I couldn’t say no even though at that moment I knew that was it for my ideas. My cold got worse while I was helping and my anxiety of losing control over my creative timing got the worst out of me by today. And when she asked me to help her all this week I fall into pieces. I said no, but I am still in pieces, because the moment for the burst of the well-nurtured creative bubble is lost. I should have said no straight away on Wednesday. I am really crossed with myself. But if I am crossed with myself how can I expect things to work out after all. I am fed up spending my time at places when I can’t get internet access and have to abandon the blog for days. I am fed up doing things for people because they need my help and letting my own long-term ideas down. I am so crossed I can’t even put it into words. Just because I am taking a creative break it doesn’t mean I am not doing anything and have time to fill in for others, further more than I have to spend valuable time with reconciling my evaporating self-esteem from that ‘Well, it happened again, hasn’t it? You came last.’ And once that is done and analysed I become crossed, before I calm down and try to recapture the moment when I stepped on the ‘Aprons&More’ creative path.

But on the shinier side, I woke up for the most amazing view, the snowed in Garden. That was the highlight of the day. I walked to church in the fresh snow. And I didn’t even mind finding out the priest couldn’t make it from the neighbouring village. We said a prayer and went on our ways. I love the snow. The pavement to the gate and in front of the house has to be swept regularly, but it is a joy to do so. It is such a wonderful feeling to come in after the work and have a nice cup of tea with honey and lemon.

The Knitting Club is doing very well. Even mum came and joined us on Friday. By Saturday I felt so ill, I had to stay in bed, but made some beaded Christmas decoration.

I don’t want to go anywhere in the next 3 months. I am fed up with travelling. 

Day 468 ‘Closely Observed Trains’ 5/12/2012

After spending 12 hours with travelling on various busses, tubes, trains on both legs of my journey and a flight in between I tempt to feel a bit desperate to get home. I am tired, hungry and thirsty and just want to be in The House with The Garden. By that time I normally lose all my well-behaved compassion towards bureaucracy and find it quite difficult to produce a polite smile, when either the conductor or the border guards cross question me on the international trains after looking at my train ticket and my languages if I am really just travelling to my final destination, which is the last village before the train takes off to Romania or I just pretend and try to slip through the system without a valid ticket for international travel. The same thing happened today with the addition of a rather strange request from the Hungarian Train Company impersonated by the conductor on duty. Because I only have a train ticket to the last village (which is my final destination) before the train enters to Romanian soil, I am requested to move to the rare of the carriages 30km before the village to make sure I will get off and not try to sneak to Romania without a valid ticket. This is outrages! Hello! Just because I have two pieces of luggage and I live in a bordering village I am not a train jumper. This is discrimination!

Of course I didn’t change seats as I had the right to sit in any of the carriages I wished to. It was a slow train with no additional tickets required. And of course I got off at my final destination, before the train took off to Romania. And of course I found out, this was the conductor’s guerrilla tactic to try to avoid a train jumper on the train if I was one. But I wasn’t. When I questioned him about the authenticity of the rule, he suddenly lost his official manner and became very polite. He never came back to usher me to an ‘inland’ carriage. 

Day 465-467 Gangsters and Molls

The craze of dancing around at a private party until 2am near Tower of London to Born Free whilst getting to know the sweet entourage of a man of great heart for philanthropy towards those who are lost in the mix of howling environmental catastrophes due to development and climate change, brought back memories of old times at the beginning of an era. We swung and boogied through the night dressed as Gangsters and Molls from the 1940s. We did not sweep the floor with our hair and got tired a lot earlier, than in those days, but the giggles and jokes were the same. The beauty of long friendships is the ability to witness changes in body and soul, whilst treasuring the lacks and boosts of the character. I’ve known Aniko since we got to England 12 years ago. And once we got home sipped the heavenly green tea from Paradise Farm, Sri Lanka (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZBjRgGK-3A).

New Entry: Day 463-464 Tale of Goodness

The beauty of gentleness is priceless. The truth of kindness is gentleness. And purity speaks wisdom.

Day 462 Crispy Canary Wharf & A Taste of Dried-Fried Mango

I carried around my laptop at Canary Wharf all day, but haven’t managed to post the blog I wrote yesterday. Starting up in Greenwich I was given a private concert by a great friend and at the same time a great composer after a session of styling and engaging in encouraging dialogs about our believes and faith in the believes we have. Friendships as such flourish when watered by respect but wither when bittered by jealousy. I know I am safe in this friendship and will never be attacked by a sudden outrage. There is a lot to learn from the true wisdom of those who are called to be compassionate.

I had a really good time in Canary Wharf. I love its classic buzz with a numeric upbeat through wireless deals from millionaire bailouts to contactless sandwiches. It is a place of getting lost in the private pool of financial mystery and being touched by the hand of the great illusion of success. And those shops in the malls luring the suits with the promise of aiming to satisfy some of the needs of the retrieving desk-bound efforts, energy bombs in the shape of sparkling diamonds, the feel of fine fabrics, touch-screen romances tacked away in a compact floating island on the sea of cafes. 

The contrast of that further out in town the honour of being invited to a Bengali home and served with a delicious meal of samosas and curries. The laugh around the table as we tried to eat with our hands and the turmeric colouring our hands. Tasting small pieces of dried fried mango with salt and the delicious Jabeli, my favourite Asian sweet. Friendships between people of different faith flourish when watered by respect. And respect has always been going a long way since the beginning. 

Day 460-461 Pilgrim’s Progress

No, I haven’t read Bunyan’s book, even though it has been mentioned many times by scholars I ought to pay attention to.

I would love to talk about my own pilgrimage in this world of London. The places I have not been during the years of exhaustion and where I more than willingly go now. I had Ethiopian lunch at Greenwich market, been inspired by the golden fingered artisans, who are all first class sales assistants, all very professional, not pushy, but genuinely friendly. I was taken to lovely interior shops, where I adored the hand crafted door knobs and coat hangers. And the lovely cup of tea by the smallest coffee table I have ever seen in a small cafeteria just off the market.

And this morning, the joy when I woke up and realised even though I am in London I don’t have to get up and go to work on a Monday morning was such an amazing piece of restoration.  As pilgrims yearn for forgiveness I am thirsting for the restoration of my love affair with England. As small drips of water flows into me the life I have never had in this place. A life that consist free time, a life that is not based on constant exhaustion and a life that is sustaining itself, not only gives, but receives as well, a Pilgrim’s Progress. 

Day 459 Orla Kiely & The Kiss versus Monkeys in the Cage

4pm at Liszt Ferenc Airport in Budapest, Hungary.

I didn’t know why I felt so strange for days, but I found it uneasy to think about my visit to London with tender expectation as I used to do. I started to think about it more like homework, I really didn’t feel like doing. I kept thinking of the presents I should have made and promised, the hundreds of pictures I was ought to attach and send since the summer, but had no inclination to do so. At the end I decided not to do any of it. I rebelled against the culture of presents and promises that are supposed to be kept. Even though these self-imposed expectations crushed over my head like drowning waves, I just hid under my turned over boat desperately trying to breath as little is I could to survive the storm. Otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to fit my own clothes to my hand luggage and needed to purchase extra allowance and carry an extra suitcase as well as my hand luggage. I really can’t do that with a bad back, a bad left elbow and a carpal tunnel in my right wrist. There is no point creating unnecessary resentment in me towards the people otherwise I love. They are happy to see me anyway. When I get back, I will concentrate on the things I came home to do so, designing, making and writing. Otherwise I will keep making the same mistake, doing too much for others just to listen to the analysation of my ‘naivety’ for not taking better care of my own things, including myself.

I am tired of travelling. I just want to stay in The House with The Garden and left alone. At the moment nothing else matters. I feel like I am an animal sent to be slaughtered in the big city. The stress that hauled me home, climb down the shelf I placed it with care and crept into my heart days before the departure. I can feel it eating the cell and I can’t do anything about it. My heart is like a heavy metal ball wanting to pull me down to the ground. In The House with The Garden my heart is light. It is like a dove flying freely in the sky and breathing in that cool fresh breeze that comes from God’s breath of Heaven. I think about this trip as suicide. I must tell this to my GP. I haven’t had suicidal thoughts for a while.

The disorder created by this trip in The House with The Garden also stresses me out. I cannot live in mess since the breakdown. The kitchen isn’t functional either, neither the living room nor the bedroom. I need time to rearrange the furniture instead of parading in the UK!!! I am just going to hide in my friend’s spare room and wait for the time I can leave for the airport and come home. God may help me and bless me in London and may He give a purpose for this trip even if it is beyond my understanding. Amen.

Nearly Midnight, East London, England.

I had a wonderful journey. Comparing to last time all the staff was kind and gave excellent customer service at the airport. I loved the tent pulled up, and the swift protected walk to the aeroplane. I’ve never been keen on boarding airport busses for a 2minutes journey that we could make in 5 minutes on foot. Total waste of time and money. Of course everything is relative and hearing an elderly Hungarian lady talking on the phone before take-off on the plane, I had to smile about my beloved countries good old moaning culture. ‘This is outrages it was exactly like on the TV news, they kept us in cages and shoved us into a tent, like animals. How humiliating!’ I don’t think it was humiliating to wait in a tent for 2 minutes and walk a bit in a protected path.

I finished Polcz Alaine’s book ‘Rend and Rendetlenseg’ (Tidiness and Untidiness). I think I started to read it more than a year ago and was one of the first books I really wanted to read. And a few months later I started again, because I couldn’t remember where I got to. This book helped me a lot in my relationship with my tidiness and untidiness. And most likely it was the right time to read it.

At the moment I am staying in an amazingly tidy and clean flat. I feel like in a hotel with Orla Kiely towels. I never ever thought I would ever have the opportunity to use such beautifully crisp towels. I even kissed them and was so worried to make them dirty that first dried my face with a bit of toilet paper. I hope the novelty will wear off by the morning, because I will have to get used to using it, otherwise am gonna go through a month’s toilet paper supply here in 10 days.

I am so glad now I did come to London. This is a holiday and I am trying to make the most of it. Rest, rest, rest J

Day 454-458 Kids' Aprons for Customisation

How wonderful to have nieces and nephews! Baking and cooking together and making them personalised little aprons :-) Ps: Apart from that I am not feeling well lately. Even blogging had to be abundant for a little while :-(

Hers

 His

Day 449-453 The Legacy of ‘Fonó’ & The Knitting Club or In The Praise of Those Old Plies

Home, Sweet Home. Someone told me once that after being away she even kisses the pillow once she gets home. Home, Sweet Home. Well, I kissed good night to my pillow on Wednesday and was ever so happy to back from visiting family. So much to write about every day, but some days just doesn’t easy into the time of sharing and ends in falling asleep with a beeping sound of the ‘I need charging!’ quest of the laptop. After plugging in, deep sleep follows and that is it normally for that day. The wood burner is finally working. My back really hurts though from pulling and pushing the house warming construction. It looks great and can’t wait to surround the wall around it with old household objects. The Glocal Trinnovation Knitting Club had its second workshop and a new member, who made great progress in learning how to knit. Amazing times! It has a feeling of the tradition of ‘Fonó’, which originated from spinning the hemp during the winter where friends and family came together, singing and working. We did not sing, but chatted a lot, whilst Margit crocheted the edges of a scarf she knitted years ago. I finished little Zara’s scarf and Dori started to learn knitting. She did really well. We are fallowing the tradition of recycling. The scarf Margit knitted was originally a jumper with lace pattern that she made herself. When that became old-fashioned she knitted a vest for one of her girls and when that ended in the pile of ‘I don’t really like this Mummy any more’ it became a scarf, which was branded ‘too big’ and now it is being transformed into a shawl with crocheted edges for Margit again. These yarns are still strong, soft and totally wearable. Go on recyclable fashion, yay! By the way, sustainable fashion sometimes is only reinventing the wheel. Ask anyone from after World War ll. Nothing was thrown away. And ask anyone in a small Mozambican village, where people have very few clothes, which are worn as long as they hold together. They wouldn’t throw anything away. Reinventing the wheel, by awakening from our amnesia of throw away culture is the ‘privilege’ of the West. Still, it is great that we are reconnecting to those old plies :-)

Day 448 The Great Façade of the Hidden Past

It is always a challenge to gain greater understanding of a situation by being introduced to a family member’s disappointment caused by our life. It requires looking into deeper than the sound of our consciousness to be able to take action. And once we get to know these unknown burial sites of disappointment we mourn, leaving the grief well behind the closed gates as we try our best not to be drowned by its weight. I am mourning.

Day 447 Gold Work

An unusual Sunday with a heavy burden of the night. A dream that keeps coming back since an opportunity was mentioned. I am trying to get to catch a flight, but miss it. The complicated scenes as a movie with many characters, the ever-shrinking time as the co-star, the places I have lived before and still, I get lost and don’t get directions, no matter how hard I try. I wake with exhaustion and with the question of significance. Walked up to the Cathedral, sneaked in at the end of the mass and looked through the gold work on the bishops ceremonial garments. It reminded me of the embroidery elective I took at uni. Of course other things have come to my mind, too about wealth, calling and the purity of the word. Looking in the mirrors of our hearts the purity of the image is the hardest to find and without God that is an unchangeable fact.

Day 446 Variations for a Day

Being a visitor in a house, where my laptop only receives 10% of the internet connection makes it a bit tricky to post anything on the blog. I spent about 8 hours on public transport today and entertained myself by ear dropping to the conversation of the two elderly ladies sitting behind me on the coach. I love listening to people’s life stories and was fascinated by the depths they discussed their friends and families situation. What made my heart leap is that it was all genuine and positive. They talked with love. It was so refreshing to listen to them. I did sleep here and there but was content throughout the journey. I can’t read on a coach, but it was a bit like having a random selection of stories on an audio tape with me, err IPod. Half past ten in the evening and finally everybody is sleeping. I was hoping to be able to go to church tomorrow, but that might not be possible after all. There are some fundamental things in my life that seems to not matter that much anymore and delayed. All I know is that it is the right time to be still instead of rushing into making decisions. There are days which are more withdrawn than others, tough but I suppose it is part of the packet I need to manage with care. Yesterday was a day of everything possible in The House with The Garden. Today, 400kms away is a day of exhaustion which makes the future thick with grey clouds. But after a good night sleep I am hoping for a day of new hope for tomorrow.

Day 445 Gardening after Sunset

8 hours gardening. I am shattered. The joy of work is as precious as its result. Good Night. Ps: I have never done any gardening by artificial light before, but I was determined to finish the job even after the sun set. It is such a good feeling to look after the Garden. An on-going mission.

Day 443-444 Garden Plants & GT Knitting Club

Busy days at The House with The Garden. I am more than happy to announce that my 2 plants became a family of almost 40 within a day thanks to an amazing neighbour. The autumn in the village is always famous about the plant exchange. We ask each other when moving the pots in the house from the garden if any of them are taken a fancy and if the answer is yes, we just share them. I spent all day yesterday planting and moving pots. So great that I’ve kept all the broken mugs and pots, they are perfect for house plants. Today I got, 2 bucket-full of garden plants in various shapes, colours and sizes. I told mum’s friend, when we picked them that I was going to plant all of it today. I totally overestimated the task. But will continue with joy tomorrow. At 4pm local time Glocal Trinnovation Knitting Club had its first session with cups of teas, chats and finishing off some jumpers and scarves that had been waiting patiently in the deepest and darkest and almost forgotten corners of various wardrobes. This is the fruit of a long awaited passion which was supposed to be started in Mozambique in 2010, moved to England in 2011 and finally was born in Hungary in 2012. This is a small step towards the idea I had been looking into in my MA thesis. There is some amazing sense of community when women set together saw, embroider, crochet or knit and have a cup of tea or coffee. God may bless our initiative. Thank you for the wonderful women who came to knit in The House with The Garden today.

Day 440-442 The Hidden Treasures a Self-Conscious Land

Brrr…some of those days, when very little gets done but stuff that’s been hanging around for a long while. Still some more curtains to be changed and more drilling to do. Gardening on last minute, high power and the crashing down rain. Encouraging cups of cafes and teas sharing about life as the jasmine tea bloomed. Exchanging jams, plants and vegetables, a sign of being accepted in the community. Under the surface so much to be counselled. And I am asking if the task is too robust on a place where material girls and boys’ etiquette is so delicate, it eats up its own varnish.

Day 435-439 From YWAM Budapest to the Art Nuevo Cafe

So much to process, I don’t even know where to start. We spent Monday at Arad, Tuesday at Gyula, Wednesday at Bekescsaba and set up to conquer Budapest on Thursday. We stayed at the YWAM base and had some encouraging chats at the RezKigyo Café on Friday evening after we looked at as many churches as we could in and around Buda Castle. Today we decided to visit the Jewish Quarter. Of course we couldn’t go inside the Synagogues being Saturday. At the end I had some Jewish cake at the Art Nuevo Café, which was delicious. More is coming from Café Houses tomorrow. I am glad to be back at The House with The Garden. I have some catching up to do with God. He has blessed me so much over this week. I need some quite time to process it.

Day 434 The Great Cover-up

We visited Arad today, the old county town where my grandparents and great-grandparents used to go to the market on horse carts. It was of course many-many decades ago. We took the train and giggled with excitement about being in Transylvania. I haven’t taken that journey for 30 years. I remember being 7 and going on my first trip abroad with the family to visit great-granny in Fogaras. That was during the communist times, when The Securitate, the Romanian secret police knew straight away that we arrived and they kept a sharp eye on us, in case we were spies. Last night we spent hours searching the web about the landmarks of Arad. The Fort looked really exciting on one of the websites with amazing history starting from the 12th century. After many kilometres of walking we found out that it is a military base and closed for visitors. The soldier on duty smiled very politely, I am sure we were not the first and the last tourists to walk all the way in the hope of seeing the medieval ruin. ‘Oh, it didn’t say on the web.’ We said. ‘It is a cover up.’ He said and we all laughed. Suddenly the light bulb went on, that is why we couldn’t find the opening hours 

Day 432-433 Timing

Raindrops are knocking on the windows every second. Crowded visitors and the Heaven above. The warmth of The House is rocking to sleep binding in dreams, fighting for breeze. And the windows open. Finally, clean and tidy, curtains done and put up. Guest arrived, sleeping tight.

Day 431 Mr. Draft and The Ladybird Kindergartens

Doors and windows are winter proof :-) I am indeed proud of myself :-) Painting, drilling and cleaning. Can DIY be creative and bring creative fulfilment? Or is it just a kind of manual labour that we sometimes call therapeutic? I would say it is like design. You’ve got a brief that needs to be explored and improve by constant problem solving. The gap between the door and the doorframe was forced to disappear today. ‘Woohoo! Mr. Draft, you’ve got to stay outside.’ I said. ‘Boohoo’ he cried and started to depart. I sadly also had to close several Ladybird Kindergartens at the window corners. All the insects from The Garden want to relocate to the House before the winter. While I am trying to keep them outside to keep Mr. Draft’s company, they just want to snuggle in a tiny crack and become invisible for months. Mosquitoes, flies, stinking beetles and smaller ones and bigger ones and all sorts I have no idea what they are even called. But they are all part of The Garden, which makes them exceptional.

Day 430 Things to Thank for

Creativity on full power! Key words for today: frost, sabbatical, apologia, carpal tunnel, compassion, problem solving, drill, painting, frankfurter, cafetiere, forgiveness, stress, ladybirds and Putty Club from Paul Street Boys. There are many ways to write the story of today, a real story, a fictional story, a happy story, a sad story, a philosophical story, an artistic story, a personal dialog with the one who thinks it is rather a monolog, than a dialog :-)

Day 429 Last Days Before Frost

12 hours house work. The fun thing about starting to live in The House with The Garden where I used to come for holidays, that it has so many little things that needs to be repaired. The list is getting longer every day. That is why it takes me so long to sort out the studio. With winter approaching I have to prioritise things I have to do outside. Most likely the last couple of days until frost arrive over the weekend. I washed and painted the window frames, cleaned upstairs and the piano room. Tomorrow I have to finish painting the windows at the back, fix the curtain pole in the studio, shorten the winter curtain and pack the rest of the stuff away. The water pipes that come from the bathroom and used to supply the basin for the hairdressing saloon still need to be cut off in the studio to be able to start using the wood burner. We were meant to cut those pipes years ago, but never got around to do it. And now it is urgent. It is only 16C in The House.

Day 427-428 ‘Autumn of Hope’ 1956

23rd October, the commemoration of fighting for freedom in 1956. I am very proud of the people of my country, who had to experience being let down by powerful nations and live through the distress of fear from fists and broken bones, no matter where they had to flee to save their lives or what kind of disturbing humiliation they had to bear, they were Heroes. America has promised help but let us down and chose to concentrate on Suez giving way to the Soviet Union for bloodshed on the streets of Hungary followed by many years of terror in this little country. How can anyone in their right mind expect us anyone after that? Shame on them. Mum’s uncle was killed, relatives emigrated to England and we the next generation were taught at school to be silent about the truth and when I did my A-Levels as the long awaited freedom finally arrived we had no questions from after World War ll. History books had to be rewritten, those who emigrated were welcomed back and Mum’s Uncle’s grave was wreathed, a posthumous triumph of truth. I am watching Children of Glory an epic film about the ‘Autumn of Hope’ in 1956 and the legendary Blood in the Water polo match in Melbourne on TV. Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJB8CS_NaTQ Full Movie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcJchITrZj4 God Bless Hungary!

Day 426 DIY Sunday

Majority of the last couple of days were spent on searching the web for DIY advice about how to fix loose doors and old curtain poles, reading guides about buying a wood burner and the matching flues. I can’t read another article about the physics of chimneys or drill another hole in the wall. At the end of the day it is Sunday. A day supposed to be spent with rest. An old habit and hard to change it.

Day 424-425 Culture Shock

Sitting outside under the warm sun after the cold night of the last. I was happy, thinking we will go to town together and buy a wood burner. Father and daughter time, making up for lost years. Of course, I was careful not to believe it will definitely happen, though. A little while later mum called telling me dad has changed his mind and he’s not coming with me anymore. ‘Oh, so there won’t be a Father and Daughter Adventure today?’ I asked with slight disappointment. ‘No’ she said with the same. I have learnt over the years not to expect anything from dad. That way anything good that happens is a bonus. The fact that he cycled over to mine with 3 shelves to the studio wardrobe was a bonus. He spent his morning at the carpenter’s workshop looking for the old men’s tools, hidden from the thieves. It was almost noon by the time the work was done. Dad was eager to get home and I told him I put the shelves in so he can leave. But when he mentioned about stopping at the pub, I did not hesitate to see him home. I didn’t want to go into the pub, though and set down the stairs by the door and enjoyed the sun shining on me through the grape wine. I was hoping he would only have as he said one beer and would not meet old friends who would invite him for another. I set on the stairs with a glass of flat Coca-Cola, while he had his beer inside talking to someone. Obviously people don’t really have soft drinks there. Hungarian village pubs are mostly visited by men and it is not acceptable for a well-brought up female to sit and have a drink, not even a soft drink. A drunk-ish guy in his twenties I have never seen before came out to see who was having the coke outside. ‘Is that good for you to sit on the stairs?’ ‘Yes’ ‘Are you sure it is good for you to sit on the stairs?’ ‘Yes’ ‘Can I get you a drink?’ ‘No, thank you’ ‘Can I get you a drink?’ I’ve got one, thanks.’ ‘A drink. I buy you a drink.’ ‘Am just waiting for my dad.’ ‘Is that your dad inside?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Hm. Are you sure it is good for you to sit on the stairs?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Well, sit there than until Christmas then.’ Thank fully at this point his mates turned up, who were more than surprised to see a woman they have never seen to sit on their local’s stairs. I could hear them asking each other who I might be. Later, I realised, while it is ok in London to sit down on stairs, in front of window shops and almost anywhere decent and clean in my little village it is unacceptable. And most likely whoever saw me from the street passing by must have thought I was drunk and thrown out from the pub and waiting to sober up to be able to go home. People did ask me when I visited London for Izzy’s wedding, if it was a culture shock to go back to my little village. I said no. But I am starting to rethink that. I have a new client  That is good news  But first I am trying to put the shelves up and thinking of dad if he feels ok or not after this long cycle and the quickly gobbled down beer. He was in bed shivering when I left them. I sometimes wonder how my life would have turned out if I could have expected things from dad. But maybe I still would not be married and childless. As I hear women’s testimonies about violence and misogyny they went through and the ability still to trust in men is alive in them, I might just be made to be single and this is just as well valuable as being married. We all have different path in life. And this is how it should be 

Day 423 16C Brrr The Chill is Here

It is cold! Only 16C in The House. I am really hoping to get the wood burner in about a week, otherwise I have to walk around with a duvet strapped around my waist to keep me warm. A sudden temperature drop brought unexpected chill around 6pm. Just listening to an interview with the opposition on taxing on National TV. The interviewer asks about numbers in the party’s program, the interviewee doesn’t answer, but talks about why the current system is wrong and comments on the interviewer’s ability of understanding what he says. I am practising to keep calm and think about the doors I helped mum to paint. The delicious lunch, coffee, phoning my little nephew, who is 4 and told me how proud he was of his dad’s new job. I am very proud of him, too. The Catholic priest came to bless the house and I did my first confession since 2006. There is so much responsibility of our actions once we make a commitment to confession through a person. It has to be said, anger put into words, envy casted in iron, over or under eating of a tortured body and being late without feeling guilty. I’ve learnt a lot whilst reading through my granny’s prayer book, which was published in 1936 and cost 4 pengo, a currency that stopped existing a long time ago. I meditated on Vondores this morning, how much my goals changed during the past 10 years. From the see-through, low cut necklines to the classic pieces. I am loving this journey :-)

Day 422 Venice comes to The House

17C in the studio compering to the 34C just a few weeks ago. The shining morning sun breaks through the birch tree leaves as a delicate diamond necklace from behind the pine tree. Nature is getting ready for another amazing ball of life today. As the light breaks on the glass and travels through the studio to the back window with the Venetian style curtains, above the ‘Mary with Baby Jesus’ painting my heart leaps, at least the curtains are up. The disorder is still huge. Fabrics, threads, beads and all sorts of haberdashery, bodice boning and farthingale hoops, Venetian masks waiting to be painted and attached to headpieces. Sketchbooks following me through the past 12 years in English creative educations, tons of photos about my works, others’ works and things I once thought would inspire me to design. Photos of old trees, bird shaped lost newspapers on The Highway, earrings found on the streets of London from a once solid idea of ‘Lost in London’ collection. Winter curtains waiting to be cut for the size of these unorthodox windows that were so out of standard when The House was built during the communism. And the cut offs that are waiting to be made into sofa and armchair covers, to Venetian them up to the ‘Madonna col Bambino’ as glancing pass the wall in a room full of grace.

Day 421 Meters and Yards of Fabrics

I have 3 massive piles of fabrics in the studio waiting to be sorted and put away. But before that the shelves need to arrive and I must keep calm every time I have to literally jump through the piles to get to the kitchen door. It is never going to end. And more stuff is coming. Help! I can’t even remember when I bought some of it.

Day 420 Where Has Time Gone?

A wonderful Sunday! Church in the morning and coffee with two lovely ladies from the congregation. Helping mum after that, painting doors and windows and the famous, traditional Hungarian chicken soup for lunch with a chicken, potato, onion and rosemary dish. Coffee with friends in the evening and a promise to myself to fix the winter curtains tomorrow. There is so much I would love to do with Vondores and the books but the days seem to go so quickly without being able to do anything else, apart from fulfilling my years long promises to mum helping her with decorating. But somehow it feels right and it is certainly not the appropriate time to feel that this period is lost for business and creativity. This is the time for honouring my parents for all they have done for me. And I am doing this with little helping hands here and there and lots of cups of coffees at the family table. And it is all how it should be. And the time what’s left, for the studio and all the creativity that lives there is even more cherished than ever before. I am still knitting the Kidskin stripe. Only very slow progress has been made.

Day 414-419 Boboka & The Café Shops of Pécs

I found myself looking after my little niece and nephew (let’s call them Bobo & Boboka) all week. Well mainly my little niece, who has totally wrapped me around her 16 months old little fingers :-) We spent almost every afternoon at Anna Café, 24, Ferencesek Str. Pécs (http://indavideo.hu/video/Anna_Cukraszda_Kavezo_2). We got first class customer service. The business is run by mother (cake maker) and daughter (waitress). The home-made strudels, chestnut hearts and plum pies are so delicious I can’t even put it into words. Boboka loved the idea of small bites of cakes slowly chasing her little mouth while she kept saying hamm/yumm. The other café shop we visited once was ‘Varazslat’ Interior Décor and Café shop selling delicious Chocolate Cupcakes with Lavender. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Var%C3%A1zslat-Lakberendez%C3%A9s-cupcakecoffee/131300720266518 It reminded me of La Vende in Lodz. Heaps of lavender, white antique style furniture and soft coloured upholstery. Boboka woke up as soon as I placed my order and played with the teddy bear the owner gave her. The young waitress, who studies psychology, told me how much she is interested in child psychology. Boboka of course was very busy throwing the bear on one of the chairs and trying to rescue it ‘from behind the bars’ after. And of course have a little bite of the cupcake here and there. We also went to the Four Season a trendy café shop at Arkad shopping centre http://www.fourseasonscafe.hu/, where finally I could get a really long coffee. Hungary follows the footsteps of Italian espresso and the long coffee is the size of the English espresso. The waitress was surprised that I wanted the ‘Big’ size cup. I sipped even the last drops of it with a hamm/yumm. The coconut and biscuit roly-poly was probably the best I’ve ever had. Boboka run around the armchairs and became rather popular with a bunch of guys as she stuck between a chair and an armchair for a split of a second. Customer service was mediocre, legging way behind the other two small café shops. To be fair our waitress did her job well, but I did not feel the baby friendly vibe from the staff as a whole, which is a big no-no for an aunty with a cute niece. In a big shopping centre the concentration of potential customers wanting a cup of coffee is a lot higher than in a small shop where a customer making a decision to come in is valued as a potential long-term regular. Also, both at Anna’s and ‘Varazslat’ the owners took active part in giving customer service, but at the Four Season I doubt that was the case. I am back at The House with The Garden again and very much enjoying being able to connect the internet to my laptop again. Autumn is here and gives me overflowing joy. This is my favourite season. Wrapping big knitted cardigans around me and walking in fallen leaves swept by the cold breeze of the wind with warm the memories of summer.

Day 413 Scottish Moffat and Italian Kidskin

After a few minutes of starring at heaps of fabrics, the potential Venetian pink and gold costume and the blue and yellow Scottish Moffat weave I decided to marry a small ball of Italian Kidskin with the latter and soon started to sketch. I was up until about 2am knitting and playing around with the idea of using the Kidskin either as a shawl, neckline or mini cardigan. I settled with a big collar, but then somehow a piece of blue velvet appeared on the paper and carried on sketching with that. This morning I had to realise with great disappointment that the blue velvet just did not go with the Scottish Moffat and it was time to go to church. The following 8 hours after lunch was spent in a rather impromptu way. As I walked pass those delicious grapes at my parents’ garden, the ones I have written about many months ago being most likely brought from Italy by a close relative during one of the World Wars. So, while I walked passed them I had an idea to make blue grape jam and cordial. 8 hours later 8 jars of jam and about 15 litres of cordial waiting to be cooled down in a very old fashioned way, wrapped in blankets in old baskets. Once they get to room temperature they can be put in the newly decorated pantry.

Day 412 The Secret Agents in Action, Meet Miss O.C. & Mr D.P.

Location: House of Vondores at the House with The Garden Time: 6pm 6th October 2012 Oh, yes the Secret Agents have arrived and are already at work in the studio. Miss O.C. and Mr. D. P. the worldwide famous freelancers of overcoming believe bad things can be turned into greater good. In this case was finally inspired to uploaded some of my recent work on Vondores’s Facebook page and just about start looking for fabrics for Venetian costumes. At the same time I have my eye on some Tweed I got in England a few years ago. Fashion is awakening for authenticity and whilst we Hungarians embrace the renaissance of ‘Kalocsai’ embroidery England does the same with their famous tweed. And of course, it is amazing to be at home and help out on the small holding at the same time. Having little cups of espressos with mum and sharing the joy of working together. There is an eternal authenticity of reconnecting with one’s homeland and the parents that brought one up. As fashion goes back to its roots once it has reached the point where its success needed to be reinvented by reconnecting with the basics I am fully appreciating every single day I can spend with these amazing people I call Mum and Dad. They help me to OverCome on DisaPpointments.

Day 402-411 Little Vondores Hit by the Big Blow or the Theology Behind Being Underpaid

Finally back home in The House with The Garden after spending a whole week in London. It is 1am and all I can say I had an amazing time at Izzy’s wedding, saw many dear friends and had joyful conversations. I also had to face a huge work related disappointment though, on which I try very hard not to dwell and now I am glad to be home. 2 days later: I just have to write about this even though I really did not want to. After designing and working so hard on the Coral Dress, putting my heart and soul in it during so many hours, I was faced with a small fact, I could not recall knowing of that there was a budget that needed to be stick to which left me with an almost unethical wage hidden under a rather strange theology, that we in the body of Christ all of us should prosper but we have all by faith at the moment and will materialise soon if we pray for it. What rubbish! I am sure the Bible says somewhere to pay the wages for those who work for you therefore be righteous. Please leave me alone with these twisted self-righteous Bible side tracks. It is like sending a letter to EDF when the bill comes, sorry I can only pay half of the bill, as I have a budget to stick to. I would really love to know what EDF would say for asking them by faith to pray for the materialisation of the debt the Christian customer has accumulated. It would be tabloid news and we would get crucified by the secular world. And even worse EDF would maybe send a letter back quoting: James 5:4 from the New International Version ‘Look! The wages you failed to pay the workers who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty.’ Our CEO. And attach a find. I do try to see the lesson in this so I have e-mailed everybody I am in work contact with to clarify about projects in case I get accused of being ‘misleading’ again. As I have written so many times about it made-to-measure costs money. Hand-beading made in the EU cannot be mistaken by cheap Asian labour when it comes to costing. Couture techniques can involve considerate amount of hand-sewing, which makes the finish luxurious. I really need to write a whole chapter about this in the book I proposed not long ago. At the same time I try to see the humorous side of this story, when people can be so adamant about their truth that they refuse to see the other party’s side. Most of the time, I can actually laugh about this. But I think after posting so much about the making of the dress, keeping this wound open in my work-heart would become eventually a breeding place of bitterness. I love creating. And I remember when I told a dear friend who witnessed my shock when it came to payment details that I would never ever want to make a dress to anybody in this world again. I said it out of anger and the distress of feeling being used and humiliated. I was even thinking of disowning the Coral Dress. But it has been daily part of my life for 3 weeks. How could I disown it! I am proud of it! It is glamorous, fits perfectly and a timeless classic that can be worn for decades to come. And this is what Vondores is about. And while I am faithfully waiting for the prosperity to cover my shortcomings for the Coral Dress I am drawing up drafts of a contract for the client because as Paul says in Galatians 3:28 ‘There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.’ (NIV) Therefore in my very own interpretation that means we who do the work should all be paid fairly even by fellow Christian brothers and sisters. I know I am not perfect either. But if I was just a bit more able to humbly look towards God and wait for the blessings of the prayers and be able to also pray blessings on those who disappointed me, it would be truly pleasing to God. And this is what I want to do and I was doing until one little seed of stinging thought about being dishonoured came to my mind and raged up into this post. And never before I understood better what Paul talks about in Romans 7:15-25 ‘I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. 21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature[b] a slave to the law of sin.’ Meaning I do not want to be angry upon the injustice I have experienced, I want to be kind and gracious for I have grace which means I can live. But I let in this case a tiny seed of anger anchor its roots in my thoughts about people who are genuine and kind I know just as myself are doing things they do not want to do, but they do it. But the good news is they also have grace. They fall, like I do and be picked up by God like I am. Therefore I praise God that there is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for we are all one in Christ Jesus. Including the ‘raging’ maker and the ‘budgeting’ client.

Day 399-402 Generational Attention to Details

Yes, yes, yes! Finally done. Oh, such a lovely feeling to see the design come alive on the mannequin. Mum told me that I sew the same way as granny did. Lots of attention to details. Apparently granny would still add some embellishment or embroidery to a dress to make it perfect when the client walked through the door to pick it up. Mum said she was passionate about making dresses. ‘Oh, I know where all this is coming from now.’ I smiled. ‘And the endurance from you.’ She smiled. And I sew through Day 400 on this blog. The Coral Dress with Golden Lobelias didn’t leave me much choice but now I am back :-)

Day 398 ?

Totally stressed out end of the day. Still lots to do. Why do I always feel when I make a dress that it would never be finished when I am so close to it.

Day 397 Time for Time Off

I haven’t finished the dress. After 5pm I couldn’t do any more work on it and started to feel sick. Of course, it wasn’t physical sickness, but a wake-up call for taking time off. I watched 3 movies and hoping to get up very early tomorrow to do the rest of the stitching. I try to think about it as an opportunity to have at least the whole Sunday off.

Day 396 40 Hours of Feeling and Breathing

Tata!!! Beading is done! I am over the moon! Approximately 5500 beads, more than 150 meters thread and almost 40 hours hard labour. Photos are coming in about 2 weeks. I remember my first real work, a hand-beaded Elizabethan dress I made back in 2004 well before I went to uni. I love intricate handwork. There is something in the fact that a piece of cloth is embellished by a person, not a machine. During that 40 hours whilst I picked up the beads one by one and pierced the fabric threw with a needle thousands of times, my inner being changed. I had time to think. And through the thinking process relive memories from the past. Create new ideas for the future and dwell on wisdom in the present. I chatted on the phone with family and friends whilst taking short breaks to rest my eyes. I am getting better in taking breaks. I used to never do that. But now after every petal I beaded I would drink a quick cup of tea or coffee take a short walk to the gate and breathe in some fresh air. I also had the TV on for most of the time and caught myself watching programs connected to Hungary. Hungarian films, Hungarian documentaries, Hungarian everything. I find it fascinating how much I’ve changed. To become a person who just wants to suck up everything this little country has to offer. I am like a sponge wanting to embrace the knowledge available.

Day 395 Still Beading…Skirt Beading

No comment…but still commenting: I am having a love and hate relationship with beads. My heart loves them and rejoices, but my eyes are in despair and desperately need rest. The same story as yesterday. The beauty of couture in its full glory!

Day 393-394 Goodbye 3500 Beads

In a total of 20 hours during the past 2 days I have sewn around 3500 beads on the Coral Dress’ golden lobelia design. I am very happy. I overall enjoyed the process and looking at the result  But now I really need to rest my eyes. They worked very hard today.

Day 392 Beads & Bugles

Ahead of plan. Have designed and drawn out the lobelia embellishment pattern for the ‘Coral Dress’. Cream glass bead middle, golden glass bead and bugle petals. I have 7 flowers to bead with 3 petals each, approximately 150 beads/petal. Started the actual beading as well, but my eyes are already strained. Need to rest them. Tomorrow is another day!

Day 391 Coral Dress Jacket? Tick! & a Midnight Comedy Sketch

Jacket finished! Yay! And almost all the tacking is done on the top part of the dress. Fruitful evening. It is almost 5am and desperately need to go to bed. (And I did fall asleep before posting this.) Plus I have to write about a very funny story from last night: whilst I watched over friend’s kids, their neighbour on the way home from a wedding party around midnight started to bang one of the windows very loudly. Worried about the children waking up I rushed to the street to have a look what was happening just to find out after a ten minutes conversation that the neighbour mixed up the houses and was convinced that my friend’s house was his. The whole situation was so funny just like a comedy sketch as he tried to figure out why I was in the house what he believed was his house. Of course, he had a really good time at the party and enjoyed many cans of beers which didn’t help him to easily make a difference between small architectural details on a not well-lit street. At the end he was extremely apologetic about his mistake, grateful for my understanding and finally when I went back the house I just smiled and smiled.

Day 390 Tale of a Secret Balsamic Remedy

Coral dress jacket is very nearly done, only have a couple of hours work left on it tomorrow. My eyes are aching therefore enjoying listening to The Spandau Ballet’s concert film from 2009 on TV. I had a really progressive day today working on the finishing touches of the jacket. Standing collar is done, lining almost sewn in and I shouldn’t forget to look for the hook and eyes tomorrow. As I was sitting on my chair rolling between the sewing machine and the overlocker today I felt really good. I remembered my feeling about The House with The Garden while I was in England for all those years and the goodness of that secret balsamic remedy of having a place of my own where creativity has permanent residency :-) And of course, as usual Ravi Zacharias and Joyce Mayer were preaching in the background from YouTube to caring for that precious interior called soul.

Day 388-389 Nicole Kidman & the Renaissance of ‘Kalocsai’ Embroidery

Good news, the Coral Dress jacket is in the beading stage. I worked on it all day and gave me much pleasure to create the design I did a couple of month ago. I even had time to pop over to mum and help her to make some home-made aubergine paste, ketchup, vegetables in tomatoes sauce and tomatoes juice. I love pickling of any kind for the winter. It is part of that old fashioned life, I so much would love to carry on practising in my personal quest for a more environmental friendly living. By the way I still haven’t bought any clothes, shoes or accessories since I started to write this blog. The temptation was there in Lodz in a shoe shop to buy a pair of green boots, but at the end I decided I should really wear those I already have and put them back on the shelf. Hungary is floating in the fashion euphoria caused by Nicole Kidman’s white dress with traditional Hungarian ‘Kalocsai’ embroidery (http://galeria.velvet.hu/blogok/2012/03/16/nicole_kidman_matyo_mintas_ruhaban/14). Last Christmas I got a ‘Kalocsai’ necklace and a ‘Kalocsai’ handbag for graduation in July from my brother and his family. I get lots of comments about them and how fashionable I am. Well, it is my brother who is fashionable and I enjoy the presents I get from him whilst I carry on with my saying no to unnecessary shopping, which means I cannot really be fashionable, unless fashion recycles itself, because I can’t buy anything.

Day 383-387 The Amazing City of Boats, Lodz

I was invited to a breath taking wedding in Poland over the weekend. This was the first time I went there and I was blown away. The beauty of the country, the kindness of the people, our shared history mirroring the second half of the 20th century, the architecture that tells stories on every single square meter, the continuous redeveloping of the ruins of the past to preserve the aesthetics from before. Lodz which means boat is the third biggest town in Poland developed on the promises of the textile industry during the 19th century. The legend says when Andrzej Wajda’s Promise Land (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVHTcb0idew) about Lodz was Oscar nominated he was asked in Hollywood how Poland, that poor Eastern European country could have afford to finance all the sets in the film? By the interviewers biggest surprise he said it was all original. It is truly touching that on Saturday morning we walked around in the palaces and on the streets, where the film was shot. I arrived to Warsaw on Friday morning after 3 hours sleep and visited the Palace of Culture, which is the tallest building in the Capital. Walking around the 30th floor I tried to find the landmarks shown on the maps with more or less success. In the great hall by the lifts there is a plaque commemorating that the palace was given to the Polish people as a gift by The Soviet Union in 1955. It is in English. The history of Warsaw up on the 30th floor is only in Polish though, so I didn’t understand much apart from the pictures. In the evening after all of us the bride’s and groom’s guests arrived from abroad we visited Manufaktura, which has been redeveloped into a grand shopping and leisure centre once the textile industry fall apart at the end of the communism. To me as an Eastern European it was very emotional to see how the place has been transformed and preserved creating jobs in the town. I remembered the knitting factory in the county town of Bekescsaba back in Hungary, which just started to be demolished recently after being unused for almost 20 years. The restaurant La Vende (http://www.lokacje.pl/restauracje/Bistr-8580.html) where we had delicious dinner had a fairy-tale interior with lots of white antique style furniture and bunches of lavender everywhere. Saturday morning we were taken on a sightseeing tour on a tram originated from the 1910s and combined with a bus engine a lot later. We had a really good tour guide, who took us to 2 of the biggest of the 150 weaving factures in Lodz and to the animated film museum. I recognised some of my childhood favourites for example Bolek I Lolek (in Hungarian Lolka es Bolka) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWu9Kuf6OHM) and Philemon i Boniface (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fiu1TsthiN8&feature=related). Of course, the latter was daubed to Hungarian  when I watched it. To be continued … 

Day 381-382 From the ‘PAS Truth’ to Success

As I said my favourite time of the day is having a cup of coffee in the morning, reading my devotional (Brennan Mannings: Reflections for Ragamuffins and the Celtic Daily Prayers) and from the book of books Proverbs. It challenges me every single day. I can’t put it into words how refreshing it is to be patient. I remember the long years when I was so distressed for not being able to start Vondores and bloom it into a successful enterprise and I remember the frustration as I looked at the logo I draw with by hand and tucked into a plastic sleeve. I remember deliberately hiding it into one of the 10 Ikea cardboard boxes that followed me through my university years and I remember after some months franticly looking for it and hoping I didn’t throw it into the bin in my distress. And yes, the logo was there patiently waiting for me to find it and embrace it once again. And of course the time came when a wonderful friend touched it up on a computer and it became the One that is still patiently waiting today. This time in The House with The Garden I don’t try to rush the present to the future, but the opposite waiting patiently for the right time for everything and enjoying every minute on the way. I wish I could tell this to those young souls who are frustrated upon a great idea which has to be rested in a draw. But I suppose when our adrenalin is high and our drive is on full speed, there is no time to listen. At least I didn’t. Especially all I’ve heard chanted around me, about how success was supposed to be achieved were those words I have since erased from my dictionary. And what is success? How do we define success? The quantity of money or rank? And how about the quality of success that balance the soul? And how do we define that? I remember long discussions about tutors with fellow classmates from various courses that ended in the conclusion that this and that tutor only became a tutor, because they couldn’t make it as an artist or a designer. This is a classic misconception of believing in a ‘Prematurely Arrogant, Self-righteous Truth’ as a young mind. As time went by I became to understand they were great tutors, though. And most likely the quality of their success that balanced their soul was closer to tutoring than being a great artist or a designer. And that all that matters. And there is nothing wrong with that. What’s more it was our gain as they planted creative seeds in us. That in some cases bloomed into becoming an artist or designer to balance our soul. But in other cases it lead us to many different private adventures some of us becoming mothers to plant seeds into the next generation, some of us become social entrepreneurs to plant seeds in the outskirts of big cities and small villages in Africa and some of us was rekindled with skills that has never been taken seriously before. And some of us became the subject of that ‘prematurely arrogant, self-righteous truth’ planting seeds in the next generations to gain success in what we do to balance our souls. And that all that matters.

Day 380 A Relaxing Day or the Recollection of Morning Happenings

Vondores has been very busy today on the Coral Dress. Designed and prototyped the beading. All the tacking has been done on the jacket and can start stitching it together tomorrow. My favourite part of the day is waking up in the morning, making a cup of coffee and drinking it slowly with pleasure.

Day 379 ‘No. JR’ Cocktail Course – Part 1.

Finally, work has been done on the Coral Dress and it is going to be beautiful! The little bolero has been cut, tacked and will be overlocked tomorrow. I am very pleased! The precious past month I kept for myself before I started the work on it was worth it. Even the ‘Doubting-Days’ when the ‘Doing-Mode’ of my brain started to jeopardise the delicious refreshment of ‘No. JR’ cocktail (no-work, just-rest) were successfully defeated. I often wondered before I returned home whenever I had days off after long periods of work and study, why I felt the need to do something when I could have just enjoyed not doing anything. Now, I know. I did not take the effort to train my thought pattern to appreciate rest, but straight away felt guilty for not doing anything and tried to fill that imaginary hole a day-off caused in my busy schedule. In my busy life. In my busy being. In my busy universe. And it was not right to waste valuable hours even minutes on strolling in a park, sitting quietly on a chair or just have yet another cup of tea for the sake of having it. But now, the ‘No. JR’ cocktail had been drunk and more is on order. Part 1. of the course has been completed :-)

Day 378 Q&A Phenomenon or Wisdom Out of The Blue

Waking up at a regular time works really well. I start to get into a good daily routine, which deep down I must have missed. And the day ends with gardening. It is so relaxing to see the change. I’ve been thinking about the difference of an overgrown garden and the one with a little regular trim here and there to make it look pretty. I like the idea of a pretty garden. It is like having a daily routine. The place and the time, creates the exact measure of dos and donts. The rest is role play. I’ve read a couple of pages from a book. It was one of those things when one has a burning question, needs and answer and the answer comes out of the blue. First, I remembered the people who lent me the book and after went to the temporary bookcase, which supposed to be an old shelf for plants and picked up the book. I put it on the kitchen table and let it rest for a while. And coffee came and the book opened and my eyes focused on a paragraph. And there was the answer. Phenomenal. And as it most likely happens when we praise our daily routine. I fall asleep before posting this and woke up this morning 2 hours later than I was supposed to. My daily routine was broken. But the good news is tomorrow is another day :-) And the toile of the dress I am making is on the clean desk and waiting for me to pull it apart and cut that gorgeous coral silk, wow! Finally :-)

Day 376-377 Cycling by the River Koros

What an amazing day yesterday, cycled almost 70kms, swam in River Koros, and ate ice-cream with delicious chocolate pastries. We cycled from one town to the other, one side of the river to the other and back. Today I gave a trim to the garden and nearly to my left index finger. Ouch, still very painful. Still, I am ready for Sunday  And Monday will come. The first Monday of September and the work needs to begin, first slowly, and after…the book 

Day 375 ‘The Rise and Fall of Village Tailoring’

I started to write a book today about the rise and fall of village tailoring, which was the theme of my Master’s Degree. It has nine chapters and looks at my family’s connection with village tailoring from 1940’s to 2010 with lots of interesting facts about the history of business, economics and policy making, the effects of centralised communists fashion to the blooming western second hand clothes shops in Eastern Europe and the myth behind the cost of tailoring. So Exciting!!!

Day 374 The Beauty of Everyday Life

It was very busy and in great need of sleeping!

Day 373 Racing Thermometer in Atelier V.

Victory! The design desk and the sewing machine table got to their final position in the studio. Still a lot to do, but I have to concentrate on the dresses at the moment, and leave the craft bits and bobs for October. The idea of decorating and doing all the necessary gardening by the end of September was an ambitious plan, but lacked reality. I am just about trying to overcome this and making huge effort not to overanalyse it. Finally it is only 25C and funny enough I am a bit cold. After the heat-wave this is what I am left with, a jumper and a pair of long trousers on a normal summer day. I feel somewhat sad today, but most likely the temperature drop is playing with my emotions. Losing that most awaited 15C is not at all as easy as it seemed to be. I was so looking forward to this and now I feel a bit cheated that it happened from one day to another.

Day 372 Happy Birthday, Angel!

This day is our family’s legendary ‘Angel-Day’. It is my wonderful mum’s birthday. I cooked a French-English dinner for lunch: Non Alcoholic Fruit Infused French Onion Soup, Turkey Pie and Apple Crumble. I can’t believe I never made an apple crumble in England! I packed everything by 1pm and just before I was going to leave for the birthday lunch there came a summer storm. After half an hour waiting it started to slow down and I got on my bike, but half way through it started again, and this time it got me on my bike. I have never ever got so soaked in my life. We had a really lovely time and as we watched TV after coffee I told mum how much I appreciate her. ‘Not everybody does.’ She said with her very own disappointed modesty. And I just smiled as we carried on watching the film. The most mature kind of child-parent love is the one when we learn through rebellion to value the deepness of really knowing each other. Thank you Dear Mum to assist through my rebellion and waiting patiently for me to come to value you and now it is my turn to be patient.

Day 371 …And Ladies and Gentlemen One of the 7 Untold Affairs of the Past 10 Years…

Finally I got to the point when I can’t go on like this anymore and I can’t hide behind the excuse of exhaustion anymore. I must confess I need new glasses.

Day 370 Pear Jam with Vanilla Latte and the ‘Lost Praise of Singleness’

I had the most productive day for about two weeks. Yes, it is still extremely hot, but I got tired of being exhausted by the heat. I got up early cleaned and cooked and visited friends. I had a couple of home-made vanilla lattes, made some pear jam from my dear old tree in the back garden. It’s been a really good day. Truth doesn’t come in a first class ‘Multi-Futuristic Capsule’. It sort of sneaks into conversations we have with friends or people we don’t even know. This blog has very little to do with my private life, but this truth, which was delivered over a coffee has to be an exception, simply because it’s been making me laugh since then. Since I was a child, I had an image in my mind of my older self when I was going to be in my late 30’s. And I indeed became that image. Even though I have fought long battles that seemed endless and excruciatingly painful form time to time with a heartless enemy called The Fear of Loneliness. And something very small I can’t even describe happened last Christmas when against all my fears I simply became whole and truly content on my own. We all have different lives which carry different meanings in different times. Mine at this time of my life is living in peace with the very thing I used to think was my biggest enemy: singleness. And now after so long we became good companions. I have never been happier in my life. And the truth is it doesn’t matter how much we know and feel what is good for us, those around, even friends would question it. While I longed for love I was told to be happy with my singleness and now that I am happy with my singleness I am told that I should look for love. Even if we are content with our situation, there are always question marks following us. But another truth is as long as we are able to recognise our own truth as happiness, the questions will never become our enemies.

Day 368-369 Paradise Lost?

I tried to catch up with some e-mails, but it was too hot. Downstairs: 29.5C, upstairs 34C. Outside almost 40C. All I did today was picked some pears once it was cool enough to be able to sneak out of The House and made lunch a bit earlier somewhere else, where I had to cycle in this heat. The things we do to see people and have lunch with. We also discussed what to do with their garden from October. And my Garden. The idea of being able to make both of them a paradise of herbs, fruits and vegetables makes it almost real that it might have never been lost.

Day 367 In Memoriam of His Gentle Smiles

And that strange feeling which cuts into one with the coldness in the shape of a feared blade of a knife: he died. And the silence followed and all one can remember is the gentleness and smiles of the person in the echoing word: suicide. And of course everyone was shocked and nobody suspected anything. And I set and chat and on the way home as the wheels of the bicycle sang on a continuous rhythm I was indeed still shocked. And still can’t believe, that we laughed so many times for so many years in those cool rooms of an old house, where I used to go as a guest taking cakes. And it will never happen again the same way.

Day 366 Lake Balaton

Hot, hot, hot. Once again I am roasting on the top floor and had to get the fan going otherwise I would faint. The heat-wave is going to last until next week and it is only Tuesday. I know soon enough we are all going to think about the wonderful hot summer nights when the temperature drops to 0 or minus. The Garden is so thirsty, but there is no point to water now, almost too late until the delayed August summer storm comes. And we wait… One dress is in the post with a modest enough cover of cleavage added for a lovely friend. My brother invited me to Lake Balaton but I have a few things to do this week and wouldn’t make sense to travel so far for only 2 days. Maybe another time. I haven’t been since I was a teenager and almost forgotten how it looks and feels like. Maybe another time. I have memories of a high school trip there and an essence of happiness locked in a photo with a smile I loved so much. It used to be inside my wardrobe in the dormitory and been asked many times if I fancied the guy I was on the photo with. No, I said, but I love the freedom of expression in the laughter which was captured so well when the person taking it asked us to cheer. I don’t think most of the people believed me. Maybe another time…

Day 363-365 St. Stephen’s Day and The New Bread

I could easily call this post ‘The Power of TV’ for the simple reason that I got a bit hooked on watching it since I got to Hungary. It played very little part in life for years, but now I feel like I am feeding a kind of ‘modern-day’ starvation with all sorts of Hollywood movies otherwise I would never watch. And if I hadn’t got a TV I wouldn’t really care. That is why I left a few days gap on the blog and doing all sorts of other important things with Vondores. This was a short season. And because this is the day when we celebrate St. Stephen our first Christian king and the New Bread there are so many amazing historic films on TV. At the moment I am watching ‘Feherlofia’ ‘(The Son of a White Horse)’ which is a famous animated film by Marcell Jankovics in the memory of of Hun, Avar and other people of the plains. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dN_vwI8Vqg This is a real piece of art. Symbolic, beautiful and truly engaging. Apart from watching TV too much. I went to Szeged with Lili and Angela on Saturday and to the village Gastronomic Day yesterday. It was good to meet friends and got invited to the After Church Coffee and Cake Club. I had no idea it existed. I have to fix a couple of dresses now while watching TV, I really feel the need to start doing things again after a couple of days resting  Yesterday someone asked me in a very concerned voice what was the matter that I came back. I told her there was no problem, but a decision after 12 very hard years to take some time out and think through what’s next. Most of the people I talk to want to know if I have found a job yet if I am looking for one or what I am going to live off. Because this is Hungary and not England it is normal to ask such private questions I just have to deal with it, because to say it is a private matter is considered rather rude. So, I just say I am taking time out to see what’s next. That is true but gives the false expression based on Hungarian standards, that I must be very well-off if I can afford to do so. Of course, I am not well-off. I did Inner City Mission during the last 9 months of my stay in London and it wasn’t easy. I just learnt to live off very little. And I know I need this time for Vondores…

Day 363-365 St. Stephen’s Day and The New Bread

I could easily call this post ‘The Power of TV’ for the simple reason that I got a bit hooked on watching it since I got to Hungary. It played very little part in life for years, but now I feel like I am feeding a kind of ‘modern-day’ starvation with all sorts of Hollywood movies otherwise I would never watch. And if I hadn’t got a TV I wouldn’t really care. That is why I left a few days gap on the blog and doing all sorts of other important things with Vondores. This was a short season. And because this is the day when we celebrate St. Stephen our first Christian king and the New Bread there are so many amazing historic films on TV. At the moment I am watching ‘Feherlofia’ ‘(The Son of a White Horse)’ which is a famous animated film by Marcell Jankovics in the memory of of Hun, Avar and other people of the plains. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dN_vwI8Vqg This is a real piece of art. Symbolic, beautiful and truly engaging. Apart from watching TV too much. I went to Szeged with Lili and Angela on Saturday and to the village Gastronomic Day yesterday. It was good to meet friends and got invited to the After Church Coffee and Cake Club. I had no idea it existed. I have to fix a couple of dresses now while watching TV, I really feel the need to start doing things again after a couple of days resting  Yesterday someone asked me in a very concerned voice what was the matter that I came back. I told her there was no problem, but a decision after 12 very hard years to take some time out and think through what’s next. Most of the people I talk to want to know if I have found a job yet if I am looking for one or what I am going to live off. Because this is Hungary and not England it is normal to ask such private questions I just have to deal with it, because to say it is a private matter is considered rather rude. So, I just say I am taking time out to see what’s next. That is true but gives the false expression based on Hungarian standards, that I must be very well-off if I can afford to do so. Of course, I am not well-off. I did Inner City Mission during the last 9 months of my stay in London and it wasn’t easy. I just learnt to live off very little. And I know I need this time for Vondores…

Day 362 TTV

I started to translate TTV (Perfectly Imperfect World) yay!

Day 359-361 Mikrokozmosz and The Gift of Happiness

I am so happy to be able to stay at The House with The Garden. I know I keep going on about it, but after having to live in flat shares and halls of residence abroad for 12 years it is so amazing to live in my own house in my own country. I love Hungary! It doesn’t matter for me what is in the historical past any more. All I need to do is to let God work through forgiveness and love within. And He does it so gently. There was no dramatic culmination so far just progress. He just brought me in contact with an elderly foreigner couple living in Hungary and made me listen to their historical negativity during a dinner party. At the end of the walk we took after the meal and discussing the long list of 20th century misfortunes Hungary had to face from Trianon to communism and the transition economy we still live in I very calmly just said I felt it was time to leave all that behind and do the best we can in the present whilst looking in the future with hope and simply by doing this we need to forgive and learn once again to live with dignity. And I didn’t only mean it for the rest of the walk. I meant it for my whole life and for that of my country. And this is pretty much in line with the book of Ecclesiastes I’ve been reading since I got home. I cannot fully enjoy my life here if I feel resentful towards those people, who are long dead, but made decisions which has heavy and long lasting effects on a nation of 15 million chopped into pieces, oppressed for almost a century and dramatically decreased in number. The children and grandchildren of those got nothing to do with their parents’ and grandparents’ political views and acts. And who can judge a child to pick up on his parent’s patterns? Nobody, apart from God Almighty. And we should remember that there were also times when Europe feared us. I just want to enjoy the present and look into the future with hope. I am actually relearning to appreciate my history and culture. There is so much to see in this little country. I’ve been watching the a series which was done 32 years after Pal Rockenbauer and his team filmed the ‘One and a Half Million Steps in Hungary’. It started in 1979 from Nagy-Milic to Irott-ko and the crew walked more than a 1000km on the ‘Kek Tura’ (Blue Route). I remember watching this as a small child with great excitement and it is so wonderful to see what happened after 32 years on the same places. We had an amazing time with Ruth, visiting the spa in Gyula and eating Munkacsy cake in the Kezmuves cafeteria. On the way to the airport the shuttle bus driver asked if she liked Budapest. ‘We didn’t stay in Budapest’ I said. ‘But there is so much to see in Budapest’ he said. ‘I know and in the rest of the county, too.’ The sky is vast and blue at the Great Plain (Alfold). There is nothing like the flat land for one who was born here. There is no hill our heart would long for so deeply throughout a life time no matter how long we stay in cosmopolitan cities and on sea sides, but the ‘puszta’ with its herds and cornfields. I love the trees greeting braches and the Lilliputian shades of the bushes. It is home.

Day 357-358 Food, food, food

I’ve been having an amazing time with Ruth since she arrived. We talk a lot and take little walks. My amazing mum cooked some delicious meals. I am not surprised I look like someone who is expecting.

Day 356 ‘Expecting?’

I can’t believe I started this blog about a year ago!!! This is just amazing. I just checked, my first post went out 08/08/2011. I must have miscounted at some point that I am 3 days behind, but that is absolutely fine. I am so proud of the Hungarian sportsmen and sportswomen at the London Olympics. They are doing so well from this little country which has the population of London, this is amazing achievement! Not so amazing: someone asked me today again if I was expecting! I seriously have to think about losing weight if I don’t want to keep saying: ‘No, I just put on some weight.’ I told Ruth this morning, I was going to tie a cardigan around my waist in case we bump into some of my friends at Bekescsaba and they would ask if I was expecting. She laughed. And she laughed even more, when someone did ask me. I did have seconds at dinner and ice cream with seconds. And we laughed that they might be twins or triplets so I must eat enough to keep going. People are so funny when they jump into conclusions, when they are sure someone is having a baby in there and after they are so apologetic and embarrassed that often make it worse, once the real the simple reason is nothing else but ‘weight-gain’ :-) We went to Munkacsy Mihaly House (http://www.museum.hu/museum/index_hu.php?ID=187) and Museum after to see the Hudak Weaving and Fashion studio’s Exhibition ( http://www.munkacsy.hu/index.fcgi?rx=&item=&nyelv=hu&menuparam3=185&type=3).

Day 355 Golden Lobelia

The Olympics is so amazing! I love watching. It’s good to have some time off before I start the ‘Golden Lobelia on a Flowing Coral Bed’ dress for a wedding. It is going to be a great Vondores adventure.

Day 353 – 354 Honeymoon

Unbelievable but the studio is ready to receive my first quests arriving this afternoon from England. I have to say yesterday afternoon I had to take a break and watch the men’s handball game between Hungary and Iceland, otherwise I would have got stressed about the state of the room. The handball was so nerve racking at some point at the end I thought I might just go back downstairs to carry on with the studio. I am so glad I didn’t do it, but screamed through the whole double extension as a true fan. Apparently many people did the same in the village and I believe in the whole country what’s more beyond. We won and earned a well-deserved place in the finals or whatever it is called when only 4 teams are playing for gold, silver, bronze and the 4th place. I am so proud of my little country. Apparently we are the 10th on the medal list, but I haven’t checked it, so I am not certain. Today hopefully we won more medals in the kayak-canoe races. I don’t mind what medals at all, because it is such an amazing result on its own to get into the Olympics, so I am very proud of every single sportsmen and women Hungary has in London. This little country is amazing! I am in Love with Hungary indeed. Of course I know this is the honeymoon period, but I am hoping to be on honey moon as long as I am here. I know I have changed a lot since moving to England, but I can sense that the country is changing as well and its people. The economic harshness of reality lurks around everybody, but the days are ours. We rule the days by the grace of God and no recession can change that. The deepness of darkness of course wants to stay and garb the joy, but the joy is incredible strong and stays. Even though the train stations are empty, the shops are closing and there are no jobs, I am hoping. I hope and believe that there is a better future here and one day we will start to increase again in numbers and overcome. The chests we are carrying on our shoulders will suddenly drop and break with its contents evaporating like steam in the fresh air. I believe we are already overcoming the jealousy and anger, stress and rage, lies and pain that the last century brought upon us and we can once again humbly and truly become joyful as we were so many times before. These are nothing else, but testing times. And what doesn’t breaks us, makes us stronger.