Day 102 `All right Dearie, just think that if it gives you comfort!’ and the Woods of Chocolate Buttons and the Pool of Liquorish Fish

The fact that all I want to do is to sleep is rather worrying. This got to the stage yesterday evening that I even thought: I simply won’t finish the thesis and the MA and just have long sleeps instead. How pathetic that is! I keep saying no to everything until the 7^th December including cooking a meal to someone who is ill and saying no to other person who needs a place to hang out for a few hours, because I am writing the thesis. I mean instead I fall asleep thinking I rather quit! I mean it is only 3 weeks now! Come on woman!!! Pull yourself together and drink more coffee!!! I didn’t even manage to write the blog last night, even though I try to make a conscious effort to get that done every day.

I got better with boundaries with people in the last couple of days, but I cannot do that with sleeping and it does worry me. I couldn’t move around the flat last night. The living room and the kitchen are taken for the weekend, which is actually quite refreshing and gives hope to hear people having a really good time. I can’t wait for the time when I can join in.

Going back to the uncontrollable falling asleep aspect of the evenings: all I can think of that more likely my laptop screen starts to tranquilize me with some peculiar silent lullabies whenever it gets bored of the thesis. And I can hear my fairy godmother voice saying: `All right Dearie, just think that if it gives you comfort!’ ‘All-right-Dearie’ fairy godmother voice has evolved somehow from the room share and normally followed by lots of giggles. My roommate did a night shift and much to my amusement as I was really unhappy having to share a room to start with I did miss having someone around making ‘search and catch’ hunting and fishing noises in the woods of chocolate buttons and the pool of liquorish fish.

Before I fall asleep, I did cut out and relocated pages and pages of research material in the thesis and was able to see straight away what was needed and what had just no place there at all. I think it was a great piece of advice I got to do it that way.