Day 99 The Winter Coat that Looks Like a Dressing Gown and the Drama of the Day

8.45am

I am starting to work on the thesis and hoping to carry on until 12.30. If I can hit this target, am going to use my last free hot drink voucher at M&S before I go to work.

8.59am

Just after I wrote a really good paragraph turns out the spell check doesn’t work, because the document is too large. First obstacle of the day! No more please!!!!

9.51am

Breakfast eaten

11.28 am

Medical evidence from GP has been maintained for hand-in. I can’t believe she actually had a cancellation, which is very rare and within 20 min I was seen. She asked me what I do to look 10 years younger than my age. Well, I should really look 10 years older concerning that I lived my last 10 years sleep deprived, skipping meals and under utmost stress including a breakdown last year. She concluded it must be in my genes. I agree. No expensive facials, beautician once every couple of years and a cheap Avon moisturiser before I go to bed in the evenings all I do. But it does the job as I get almost daily approve.

12.33 pm

Another pressuring e-mail from Mission Year to go to the training evenings! I just can’t do it before I hand in the thesis. People can be just so inconsiderate. Yes, I understand I signed up for the year, but as it stands I haven’t managed to write the thesis while I was at home. I just want to, actually not just want to I did say, please don’t pressure me, it is not helping. All this pushing first with the money and now with the time, just really putting me off the whole thing. I just don’t want to listen to people lecturing me about what and how I should be doing, when they have no idea what a massive pressure their ignorance puts on me. I already have a massive resentment built up towards this let`s give up a lot of things and get pressured to give up more. There is a limit to when one feels comfortable to be squeezed not only by people and work, but by any organisation. After I finish the thesis, I am more than happy to take part in any activity they want me to, but at the moment these fortnightly meetings are simply not a priority.

13.03pm

Thank God it has been clarified; I won’t be encouraged to attend the meetings until the 7^th December, even though it is thought to be something useful to do in the midst of everything. It is unbelievable how our focus can be flicked by an e-mail and our mood sent on a roller coaster ride, whilst our precious time should be really focused on the matter in the protected area in question, in this case the thesis.

21.35pm

The funniest moment of the day was when a two and a half year old little boy told me my coat wasn’t a coat but a dressing gown. Kids’ logic is just amazing my coat does have a tie belt as most of the dressing gowns and made out of a quilted fabric, cut a bit like a dressing gown from H&M. His mum told him he should be careful what he tells women`s about their clothes! So funny I can’t stop smiling.

Ps I did have the hot chocolate, but after work.