Day 89 The Contrary of Moderate Speed and Constant Small Talk versus the Attitude of Focused Straightness

My entry yesterday was rather short. I kept falling asleep and wasn`t even bothered by the fireworks going off everywhere around us. Today is officially Guy Fawkes Bonfire Night, but in reality the whole week is treated as one long 5th November.
I am sitting in the living room eating a slice of wonderfully delicious cheesecake for breakfast, a cup of Paradise Farm green tea and for a change a coffee as well and thinking about the weekends back home when me and my brother both had chocolate and sweets until lunch time. Mum was cooking for the hunters and we stayed in and watched TV. I was about seven. I remember feeling dizzy from all the chocolate and sweets and mum telling me years ago, how much she regrets those days cooking for 30-40 people as a favour, instead of the three of us having breakfast together and play, while dad was out hunting. We all make these mistakes, we are convinced that things we commit to are important and we are irreplaceable and we do our best to please other people, the company we work for the church we are part of and we realise later when the time we could have enjoyed with our family has gone, the children grew up, the parents got old and their health deteriorated beyond we could cope with, that empty hole inside us yearning for the lost days to come back and relive them to make things worthwhile to remember of, because we had to realise we are replaceable in pleasing people, at the company we are working for and in the church we are committed to. I went through this in the past 6 years at work. Doing all the extra hours, volunteering for nightshifts, starting ridiculously early and staying until late and I did this in the hope of a promotion, which never came and only was on the way in my imagination. I used to think if I would work harder, I would get recognised. But some of the cultures prefer moderate speed with constant small talks and call focused straightness an attitude problem.
Am I going to look at this MA in months`, years’ time as something that took my time away from the precious human relationships with family and friends? Only God knows.
It is high time to get started on the Literature Review, but before that I really need to decide what to wear for Alan and Cami`s blessing and the cream tea reception that follows!