Ok, I admit no progress on the thesis today, instead I tried to look for jobs and analysed the Excel sheet I put together the night before. Of course about finances, what else?
Every single time, when I uploaded a job application the internet mysteriously disconnected and had to do it again, just to find that the same thing happened.
I called the bank. No positive outcome.
I thought through my life and desperately tried to find the last beams of sunshine through the dooms and glooms of the past few weeks. Since I was ill every single day I have to fight for that sunshine. Sometimes it blooms like roses on vast fields and other times it withers like burnt in buds without letting any trace of life escaping. Gemma suggested I should ask my GP what she thought about the effects of substantial changes in my life so clause after recovery. I have to say I don’t even think I registered when she said that I was far too busy trying to convince her it was a great idea. I was sure a move like that would be totally fine. The night after the wedding she reminded me. And then I remembered, the way she said it, very quietly, very genuinely, very concerned, very kind and very polite. But now I know I just once again felt like a superwoman, who cannot be beaten by some petty life changing moves. How wrong I was!
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